As I nursed my brown boy this morning, I took a peek at my Facebook news feed. There was lots of fear and grief. Fear and grief that I understand well but am no longer willing to participate in. I remembered being a willing participant and what I wrote. I asked a question that no one answered. They only liked that I’d asked the question. In that moment of looking through my newsfeed, the answer came to me and I started off writing this status update:
“Still finding my joy, strength, peace, security, love and identity in my Abba!! I will *not* live in fear. I refuse.
Last time this kind of tragedy occurred, I was pregnant with my brown skinned boy. I knew in my heart I carried a boy, and when Trayvon Martin’s murderer seemingly went free, I freaked. I remember crying out and I believe I posted on Facebook, “What will I tell my son?! What will I teach him?!” I’m different today. I don’t have all the answers, nor do I understand, but I have one answer. As God would have it, I have the answer I need most. As I see people I love grieve and freak out, I know what I will teach and tell my son.”
What will I teach/tell my son? The following and more as God reveals it to me…
Jeshua, I will teach you all I know about the wonders of our Creator. Your first name Jermaine means, Bud, Sprout. You are now that tiny bud, a bud that is indeed sprouting into a more beautiful being with each passing moment. You are chosen, a royal priesthood, a prince, a mighty man of valor, seated with Jesus in heavenly places. (1 Peter 2: 9, Judges 6: 12, Ephesians 2:6) I see great things for you Son and I’m not the only one. I will hold fast to the prayers and prophecies over your life and teach you to do the same. You will fully understand the meaning of all your names Jeshua Michael- God is salvation, Who is like God?
I will teach you the reality of verses like Ephesians 6: 12, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”, and Proverbs 23:7 which states, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he”, 1 John 4:4 says, “Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world…”. In fact, together, we will delve deeper into the life of John. See, John thought himself to be untouchable. They tried to kill him but it didn’t work. In the end, he was exiled to an island where he spent the rest of his days. He thought himself untouchable, and he was… Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, *according to his power that is at work within us*,” What power is at work in you my son? I declare that you are not like the Christians in Rick Joyner’s book who, donned in all the armor and weaponry they needed to conquer their enemy, actually carried tiny demons on their backs, allowing the enemy to do as he pleased and even helped him accomplish his goals in their lives and the lives of other Christians. That’s not you. That’s not your destiny.
I will teach you that what you focus on is what will expand in your life. Choose God, little one. Focus on Him and realize what it means to stand still and know that He is God. Get all your strength, happiness, peace, love, joy unspeakable, identity, and security from, through, and in Him. Spend time in His presence just being-not doing, not talking or asking, just being. He will speak to you in those moments and you will get answers Son. Answers that will carry you through moments like this one I’m experiencing right now where people around me are deeply grieved, fearful, downtrodden and I have a peace that is just… unearthly. Nothing around me has changed for the better, yet, I type this out of a solid surety that our God just is, and that’s more than enough. In fact, I am excited as I type this, I see so many exciting things for us all. We are in for some wonderful things!! So, you don’t have to live in constant fear because your skin is brown. That’s not your focus or destiny- to live in fear because, God is our source, our all… “He gives us the power to live, to move, and to be who we are. We are His children…” Acts 17:28