I am struggling off and on with what comes naturally in a pregnancy. Almost right away, this pregnancy has been marked with great exaggeration, “morning” sickness, the growth of my belly measuring a whole two and a half months ahead, the back pain, ligament pain, and more, all very exaggerated. Everything points to this not being a normal, singleton pregnancy. Even now, at 31 weeks along, I measure as if I was around 43 weeks along, and being 4′ 10″ tall, this all does a job and a half on my frame.
So, I know that as far as pregnancies go, I still have anywhere from at least 6-9 weeks left; and physically, things don’t tend to get easier the closer one gets to giving birth. This means, here I am, struggling from around 23 weeks on and I still have, at the very least, 6 weeks to go until I am full term. In the natural, things don’t look very hopeful at all and I hear the song, “One day at a time, sweet Jesus…” playing in the back of my mind.
Here’s the reality that I am choosing though. I am not from here. I am God’s very own daughter. He has given me the ability to do what Jesus did and greater and I don’t recall Jesus telling anyone that whatever ailment they experienced was a natural result of whatever condition they had, so they should just deal with it. Nope, he healed them all.
So, I started with making declarations over myself one night. I declared that in spite of my frame, I am strengthened daily, by my Father and I am more than capable of not only getting through this but thriving through it all. I had a wonderful time declaring over myself and my babies.
Now, I’m starting to notice other things though. Once, as I was feeling down, super weepy and frustrated with my inability to do things as before, I heard the Lord ask me, “What are you looking at?” I understood completely and said, “Ok, Abba, I understand.” I was focused on my problems and my frustrations. I wasn’t looking to Him at all and I felt absolutely horrible.
Then, there was a time when my body signaled that it was time to lie on my side (I’m not able to remain upright for long periods) and as I did, I talked to God. I worshiped Him and just thanked Him and focused on Him and just enjoyed being in His presence, and, as I did, all pain just vanished. This same thing happened twice more today. Once, as I just focused on the Lord. As I sang to Him during praise and worship, every bit of pain I felt just moments before, went away and I felt great.
We had to stop at a supermarket on the way home, and the pain of walking was such that I had to have my daughter drop me at the front of the store so I could get a cart to lean on as I picked up the few things we came for. I had to take off my coat and leave it in the car because I felt I would faint from being overheated. Once in the store, I fought dizziness a few times (I needed to eat) and as I stood and paid for my items, I struggled to stay upright. My back was on fire. The guy who checked me out said he would go on and bag my items and I told him, “Hey, as you do that, let me tell you something.” I went all the way in, no explanation or anything. I told the guy about himself, his personality and what God wants for Him and prophesied and well, you get it. He laughed and smiled and thanked me. He said I’d made his night with the great encouragement I’d given him. I smiled and thanked him and, as I walked away, I noticed that not only was I walking upright effortlessly, but I had no pain at all and walked to the car happily.
All this to say, I think we take far more than we have to in life. I for one, aim to change that. I really believe God is trying to tell me something.