Understanding God

Proverbs 25:2 (NLT) says, It is God’s privilege to conceal things and the king’s privilege to discover them.

All too often, God speaks to us, but we miss what He is trying to convey. One thing I love about Him is how crafty He is with hiding things right in front of me. It is for me to go to Him for further explanation in order to gain clarity and move in the right direction.

I have been having so many dreams lately where I am losing (sometimes to death) one of my children. For a while, it seemed my dreams were centered around my oldest son who is 3 years old. He was attacked by a snake, fell down a hole that was just large enough for him to fall through, he fell off a bridge, all sorts of horrific dreams.

Last night, I dreamed about my 14 year old daughter. In the dream, I was handed an ID card with her face on it. Someone had taken a permanent marker and drew tears streaming down her face.

Suddenly, I began to see what I can only describe as a movie playing, on the card. As I watched, I saw my daughter, dressed in the typical orange suit prisoners wear, on a bus, along with other prisoners who were also young girls. My daughter was trying to find a seat when several of the girls began to attack her. I could do nothing to help my child and watched the card helplessly. I quickly forced myself to wake up.

Morning is oftentimes the time I have to myself. I sat, prayed for and declared over my daughter as I had my son, after having dreams that I thought were about him.

After doing this, I noticed that I did not feel any better but I went on about my morning.

Soon, my oldest and youngest were awake and as my oldest held my youngest in the next room, I stood in the kitchen, turned the water on full blast so I could not be heard, and I cried hard. I kept thinking, “Doesn’t she know how much I love her and want to be intimately connected to her? I don’t want this for her!”

After a while, I got on a chat with my tribe. We chat all day, everyday. it is wonderful. I mentioned that I had cried and why, and one sister and brother, Jenny and Scott, mentioned that my dreams are for the youth in general, not my biological children.

It often takes someone from the outside, looking in, to bring clarity. It made so much sense of why even after praying for and declaring over my daughter, I still felt awful. Isn’t it interesting how the very words I said to myself about my daughter knowing how much I love her, is exactly the way the Lord feels about all of us? I now believe He is giving me a glimpse of His heart towards the youth, all of us really. His love is immeasurable. Too much for our finite minds to comprehend.

As I sat, nursing my baby, I went back into prayer and will continue to do so. I am praying for and declaring over our youth. They will not be deceived, led on and destroyed by the enemy any further. They are confident and bold as a lion, sharing God’s Word and the ways of His Kingdom where ever they go. They are mighty and walk in a power and authority unlike any the world has ever seen. They change atmospheres for the better by merely passing through and their identity is sealed and solid in the One who created them.

I will continue to pray for and declare over them. I get it now, Abba. I’m on it. And wouldn’t you know? That heaviness that remained after thinking it was about my daughter is lifting now.

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