Where love languages are concerned, I always tie between two- acts of service and quality time. I cannot choose one over the other. Coming alongside me to help and chat with me as I wash dishes screams love.
In Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, it is noted that most often, people love others based on their own love language(s). I know this is true for me because I am very often seeking to do something for someone and spend time with loved ones. It fills me to overflowing.
I am naturally a romantic, mushy, sappy type. I love that too and at times crave that kind of experience to be directed my way, but I don’t always get it. Rather than complain and constantly feel sorry for myself over it, I seek ways to teach my husband and children how to love me the way that most directly and clearly speaks to my heart. We are in such a moment in time these days.
Around Valentine’s Day, in 2017, I decided to get sappy and romantic with my family. From February 1st thru the 14th, I wrote each of them something that I love about them. I enjoyed doing it and had no problem at all coming up with something for 14 days. This is just one example of the types of things I do to love my family and show them I am thinking of them and care. As much fun as I had doing it, I realized a few days ago, lol, that not one of them thought to reciprocate.
I realized that while it comes easily to me to honor those dear to me, it isn’t so for everyone, and because I want to raise thoughtful children, I brought this to their attention. In as loving a way as possible, I discussed the importance of honoring others and admitted that there are and have been times when I have felt that I was “for them” and they were for themselves as well, leaving me out of the equation. I told them that I would like to change that and teach them to be more aware of others, especially those closest to them. I mean really, don’t cry, slob and snot if something happens to me and tell me how much you love and care for me then, tell me and show me now!
In trying to think of ways to help my family, Abba gave me a wonderful idea that I call, Culture of Honor. There are seven in my household and seven days in a week, so for now, once a month (for one week), we are honoring each person in various ways.
I am enjoying seeing how they are choosing to show honor to one another. One child took over washing dishes another was doing. One made another’s bed, bought another their favorite thing from the store, etc., many acts of kindness have taken place this week. My prayer is that this will teach them to remember others and the important roles they play in our lives, and, honor them for it.
All too often, we get comfortable with those closest to us, so much so, that we completely take them for granted. I don’t want to do this or be treated like this and I don’t want my children to do it either. So, we are seeking to change this and make some wonderful memories while we’re at it. People are very happy with how others are choosing to honor them and there’s a sense of excitement when thinking of what to do for others as well. We also plan to choose others outside our household to honor. It will be fun to surprise people and honor them. I am very grateful that instead of stewing in anger, resentment, and self pity, my Abba gave me a solution- Culture of Honor. Who could you choose to catch off guard and honor today? Go for it, and tell me about it!