It’s been a little while since I wrote last. At least it feels that way. I haven’t really known how to say what I want to say at times. Other times, I simply haven’t had much to say, and I won’t write if I have nothing to say.
I am on a journey to greater awareness of myself. I am learning what makes me tick. I am learning what triggers me to emotions like anxiety, anger, fear, sadness and my favorite, happiness. I am good some days, and some days I am not doing well at all, but, God is here, taking me along this path that I must travel in order to get to a place where I see myself not as my parents have taught me to see myself, but as He sees me. He knows me best and His view of me is what will ultimately help me to be the best Patrice I can be.
A group of friends and I do prophetic assignments together every now and then. One assignment had us envision a plate on a table. The plate was filled with many things and so was the table. We were to ask the Lord what, if anything on our plates, should be removed, decreased or increased, and what on the table that perhaps wasn’t on our plate, should be added. I got a one word answer and then a moving picture. My answer to what needed to be removed from my plate was simply, “People”. Then, I saw the Lord remove the people from my plate and He got on my plate, arms outstretched, smiling, until He filled my plate with Himself. Then, as He filled my plate, I saw all kinds of things go back on my plate but through Him, because as I said, He covered the plate.
I don’t consider myself a people pleaser, but I do love people and am very much an empath who has no problem at all feeling compassion for others. My issue is that I lack compassion for myself. I very easily leave myself out of the equation and that must change. I need balance. One dear friend, Jackie, has been pretty much saying this for a few years now. Mothering and nurturing others is a skill at which I am a natural. I love it. I am learning to turn some of that mothering and nurturing onto myself and see myself as worthy of the time, attention and care I so easily give others.
He is to be the lens through which I see and do everything. I believe wholeheartedly that He is all in all anyway. Nothing is changing on His end with this. It’s my perspective that’s changing. My subjective reality is matching up with what is and always was, because of Christ’s finished work. I am healed and whole and waking up to that realization more and more.
I encourage you to do the assignment my friends and I have done. Ask the Lord. What’s on your plate that needs to be removed, increased or decreased? What’s on the table that isn’t on your plate at this time but should be added? Take time to dialog with the Lord about this and journal what you get out of it. I’d love to hear about it too. This exercise started a very serious and deep look at my life, like how my past affects my present. It has highlighted different traits about my personality, habits and more. Do this for yourself and see what God does with it. It could very well change your life as it has mine. I love you dear reader, Patrice.