Holy Spirit Led Learning

We are an unschooling family. Although I grew up traditionally schooled,  I can look back and see that, even when I didn’t know anything about the term or that it even existed, I was always an unschooler at heart. If I had an interest, I explored it until my heart was content.  I have always loved learning, but I did not love school.

Before my oldest was 2 years old, I met a homeschool mom who I know God sent my way to set ablaze the path we were to take concerning my child(ren)’s education. Frankly, at that point, I dreaded the day I would have to officially send my child off to school.  We had so much fun learning together. I didn’t want to miss anything.

Unschooling was and is very natural for us.  After having lived it for almost 20 years now, I am definitely a believer.  A quick definition is that unschooling is simply child led learning.  It is gaining an education for a child that is fully centered around each child’s individual interests. I enjoy following and facilitating activities centered around what each of my children are interested in.  It makes for quite an adventurous life that one would be hard pressed to plan or duplicate.  For us, it is very much Holy Spirit centered and led as I know Holy Spirit is the one who keeps me abreast of what’s next for us.

This way of life is not for the faint of heart. It’s not for everyone, and certainly not for those who feel more comfortable following “the crowd”, doing what most everyone else is doing.  Child led learning can freak out such personality types, “How in the world will they ever learn to ______________!!!” There’s so many things one can insert in that blank, lol.  We are never without options for freaking out, I suppose.

Anyway, something interesting happened to us within the last week.  As I stopped to get water, not thinking of anything in particular, the Lord dropped 2 things in my spirit, my 2nd daughter Jenai (pronounced jen-ay) and a vocational-technical school nearby.

Here’s the thing.  My children have never attended school and I don’t know very much about schools here in Jersey as I grew up in DC.  When I received this download from my Abba, I said, “Ok, I’ll check it out.”  Jenai, like both of her parents, is all over the place with regards to interests and talents.  She sings, she draws, She makes video movies with dolls.  She is very handy around the house and loves to put together whatever comes in the house. She makes doll furniture and accessories and designs the set for her doll videos.  She builds things with cardboard boxes, like atm machines and vending machines that actually work.  She cooks, she does animation, dabbles in contortionism, loves doing nails, writes penpals making them pocket letters… You get the picture.  All over the place.

I talked with her about the school and explained that they offer a wide range of programs including green construction, animation, cosmetology, culinary arts and so much more.  She would be able to go for  2 hours each day, for whatever program she is interested in as a share time student and still be technically homeschooled.  I explained this to her, shared the website with her and let her know that she does not have to go if she isn’t interested.  I just felt led to check it out as I told Abba I would.

What was interesting for us, was that the school was having an orientation for students interested in attending in September and it turns out that Jenai is the exact age that they are ideally searching for.  Of course, Abba knew all this. I hurried and signed up for the orientation which was to be held days later. Interestingly enough, it was held on a day and at a time when we are typically not available, but that week, we were available.  God was up to something.  I told Jenai that we’d go and check it out.  At the very least, I told her that she would get resources to help her further her education outside of the school (impromptu prophesy, lol).  That happened and more.

While there, we did a 30 minute general information session, after which, we were given a folder that included a map of the building.  Each program was listed with classrooms where students and parents could go and get more information about as many programs as they chose.  I told Jenai to lead the way.  I wanted her to check out every area that was of interest to her.  I enjoyed following her lead and was happy that it was just the two of us. After attending 2 of them, we made our way to see the graphic design teacher.  My heart jumped with excitement as the teacher spoke. I knew this particular program would speak to Jenai’s heart more than the others had.

Not only did Jenai get information about the program there, but after telling the teacher a little about Jenai, she told us that industrial design is something that sounds right up Jenai’s alley.  She said that graphic design is a great foundation for industrial design.  She also told us about a nearby college that would accept credits from Jenai’s time at the school and those credits could go towards a degree in industrial design if she chooses to attend college.  She went on to invite Jenai to spend a day at the school next week to see what a day is like.

Between you and me, I am super excited.  My spirit is really excited for Jenai about it all.  I drove home to her that the Lord loves her so much that He would speak to me about her in this way.  She seems to be really excited too but whether she goes in the end or not, I am very happy that she knows God singled her out like this.  I am happy to have taken her somewhere, to look into things solely for her.

She’s funny, she said to me, “Man, the only drawback is that this is gonna mean I am no longer an unschooler, because I will technically go to school.”  I laughed and said, “Girl, this will make you an unschooler times two!! You will be going to school 2 hours a day, yes, but, you will be going to do something that is of interest to you, only because you choose to.”  That’s unschooling.

Life Giving Words

I enjoy encouraging people.  It’s something that comes natural to me.  If I see or notice something about a person, I feel the need to tell them.  Oftentimes, I have taken this compulsion as just a little thing but I am seeing more and more that it isn’t a small thing at all.  There are times when, what to me seems minuscule, means the world to others. Each time I am faced with this fact, it startles me a bit.

See, you never know how one kind word can impact someone.  A person could be having a really tough time, or worse, have suicidal thoughts, and one kind word could make all the difference.

I know of one such time where the words used, weren’t even kind per se, they were just words, but they meant everything, so much so, that a life was literally saved.  If I remember correctly, my brother Scott who told a group of us about this, said the words were, “Yellow flamingo”. If I’m wrong, we’ll just pretend that’s correct.

There was an event (Christian gathering of some sort), and someone got a word from the Lord and it was “yellow flamingo”.  They got nothing else, no insight whatsoever.  So, when the opportunity came for them to get on the mic and say it, although they felt beyond silly, they went.  Imagine, a gathering filled with people and you get “A word from the Lord” like that with nothing else.  Now, there are times that I get what to me is a strange word and nothing more.  Then, when I say that part, the Lord gives me more.  It’s an exercise of trust.  Anyway, this poor soul got nothing else, lol, even after saying it.  So, after getting on the mic and saying, “Yellow flamingo”, and getting nothing else from the Lord, the person turned, intending to return to their seat.

Suddenly, there was a loud cry. The (crying) person was approached.  Sobbing, the person said that they had planned to commit suicide once they returned home that evening.  They hadn’t even planned on attending the event but had the sudden urge to go, and before leaving, they told the Lord, “If you tell someone to say ‘yellow flamingo’ to me, I won’t kill myself.”  Well, that brave person literally saved a life that day.  We just never know how we can help others.

This is why, in part, when I feel impressed by the Lord to say something, anything to others, I just do it.  I’m only responsible for being obedient in giving the word, I’m not responsible for what happens next.  I just need to do my part.  Imagine if the person thought, “Yellow flamingo?  That doesn’t even make sense! I’m not saying that!  I must be just making stuff up!”, and said nothing.  If they had stayed silent, a precious life would have been lost that evening, but God is so good that He told a person who would push past feeling uncomfortable or even embarrassed, and just deliver the life saving words to the one who desperately needed it. Wow!!

God is really good at getting us to step out of our comfort zone, but we have to be willing to go.  The rewards of following His leading in this way are nothing short of amazing but it can also be a quite sobering experience.  You just never know.  I encourage you this week, to unleash a multitude of encouraging words over others.  No one should be safe from getting a kind word from you.  I challenge you to especially do it with one who is being… a bit difficult to love, hahaha.  That’s some real stuff right there! If you find that too difficult, baby steps, give a kind word to someone else.  Have fun with it.  It’s like scattering seeds of something delicious and looking back to see that you have an enormous harvest to enjoy.  It is one of those things that blesses the person and you, and it feels wonderful!  So, go for it!  Bless some people with kind words and watch how things change for you.

An Unconscionable Love

All five of my children have gone to the library, which has afforded me a very rare moment to be (physically) alone.  Naturally, I immediately set out to cleaning and straightening a few things, and, talking to God.  These days, I sometimes don’t feel able to do much more than ask Him to help me.  I need help loving people when they are at their worst.  I need help in being gracious when I want to go completely ballistic, telling people off in a manner that I feel they are so deserving. I need help in having compassion for those who are oblivious to their need to change destructive behaviors and patterns.  I need help minding my life, attitudes, behaviors, thoughts and business, instead of concerning myself with that of others around me.  My stuff is a lot, all on it’s own.

All this led me to consider Jesus.  Seriously, how did Jesus do this?  How could he look with love and compassion, blessing and healing those who would later scream, “Crucify him!!!”  How did he do that?  How could he smile, eat, drink, laugh and hang out with people who were utterly selfish, self serving, cruel, rude and more?  How could he hand over the money bag to a man that he knew would steal from them all and eventually, literally sell him out?  How could he not look at Judas, in this case, and not punch him square in the face?  My God! How did Jesus do all this?!

I sit here and consider myself and others, and how when we are betrayed or hurt, we feel as if we are the only ones who have these feelings.  We feel justified and sometimes go to great lengths to ensure that justice is served in one way or another.  We hope they pay for what they did to us, all the while, we are blind to our own offenses against others and God.

We want to see everyone “pay the piper”, except us, of course.  We want that ‘get out of jail free’ card. When it comes to us, we want mercy and compassion.  The same mercy and compassion we deem others unfit to receive, from us, and God.  Lord help us.  My prayer is that we truly learn to love as Jesus loves.  To seek after the best for others, not just ourselves.  The Bible says that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  We weren’t looking for him.  We didn’t want or choose him.  He chose and still chooses us.  Good and bad.  Ugly and pretty.  Nice and nasty.  We are immeasurably, irrevocably, and deeply loved.  Abba, help us to love as you do- with no limits or conditions.

Who Are You Really Mad At?

My dear friend Jackie posted this on her Facebook wall recently, “Don’t let someone’s sin against you produce sin in you.” — Dan Mohler.

She and I had the opportunity to do a conference with Dan Mohler last September and it was absolutely amazing. Dan Mohler (and Todd White) are the ministers to listen to when you are tempted to start feeling sorry for yourself, and/or victimized. They will help set you straight right quick.

The truth is, as bad as people’s actions towards us are, we have absolutely no right to walk around holding grudges, feeling justified in doing so because “they did me wrong”- cue the violins and commence with the whine fest.

When the tables are turned, we quickly forget that “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” We are not only called to go higher and deeper as believers, we have also been completely enabled to do so.

We have to remember the fact that “We wrestle not against flesh and blood…”. We must put things into proper context and perspective. We have to actively choose to bask in the Lords presence, allow Him to love away all that concerns us and give us strategies so that we don’t let our broke down, already defeated foe, get any inroads into our lives.

Fighting the Lord’s way doesn’t have to be as difficult as we make it. I am learning that. We must remember who the real enemy is and together, clown his ridiculous attempts at causing us stress, relationships, loss of sleep and more. We can’t continue to let someone who is already defeated, deceive us into hating one another and acting on it. May we get a deeper revelation of who we are, what we have and move forward with confidence, power, authority, and most of all, love.

Grace In Times of Revelation

The theme of my life lately, seems to be “revelations”. Over and over again, things that were hidden are being brought to light and I am having to choose, again and again, where I stand, what I will allow, and most importantly, what I choose to believe.

I have, on several occasions mentioned Graham Cooke’s words on good and bad days. He says there are no good or bad days, there are only days of God’s grace. Each day, we have either the grace to endure or enjoy what is happening. 

We all want those days of grace to enjoy what is happening, but what about those days that find you clinging to His grace to endure? What do those days look like for you? Do they find you cold, withdrawn, angry and or pitiful? Do you just get stuck and stay in that place far longer than needed? Did you know that you don’t even have to stay there? I am seeking to leave those ways of wallowing in self pity for extended periods, far in the past.

Instead, I am asking the Lord how to navigate through it all. I’m asking trusted others to pray as well. I am also actively looking for Him even in the midst of my pain and as I always say, He isn’t hiding.

I am thanking Him for revelation. I believe exposure is good. How else can one move forward if they are completely in the dark? Darkness makes for some pretty difficult navigation. I want His light shining on all that concerns me. I don’t want my head in the sand. He said His grace is sufficient for me and that His power is made perfect in my weakness. He also said He won’t give me more than I can bare. I admit to questioning this truth several times in my life. 

Regardless, the fact remains, that I am here and so is He, and, through fun times and sad, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Eventually, I will afford myself time and space to have a good, cleansing cry, but in the meantime, I will thank God for so many things; I thank Him for revelation, for surrounding me, for comforting me, for loving me and more. I will press onward with the joy that comes from being in His presence. I’m so grateful it is always available to me in an unlimited manner. I will rejoice because I am being made stronger, more wise and I have lots of help and options. I will use His grace to help me endure and enjoy all that is happening.

Encounters That Wreck You

I’m not sure what exactly brought it on but several days ago, I had an encounter with the Lord that led me to eventually make some declarations over my upcoming birth.  Between that and the encounter, I felt so fully encapsulated in Him, His love, His peace, His joy, that I have been a bit wrecked since.  I don’t want to do anything, go anywhere, do much talking or anything.  I just want to be- with Him.  I don’t want to come out of the space I am in with Him.  I feel this is the perfect position to give birth from. How glorious and holy…

Have you ever had an experience with Him that completely wrecked you and just about rendered you unavailable on a natural level of being?  I, like some I know of, want to learn how to function in every day life “under His influence” like this because there’s just nothing like it.  I don’t want to leave.

If you’ve not had such an encounter with Him, ask Him for it.  I join you in asking, knowing that because He is a good Father, He will give it to you.  This isn’t something to miss out on.  You don’t have to wait to get to Heaven to experience Heaven or Him.  Experience both now and later.  You won’t be sorry.

How Much Are You Willing To Allow?

Several verses in the Bible include this phrase about Jesus that say, “And he healed them all” or “And he healed them” (See Matt 12:15, Matt 15:30, Luke 6:19).

Then you have instances where Jesus walked on water, walked through walls, got money from the mouth of a fish, fed multitudes with a minuscule amount of food, and turned water into wine.

Of course, we can’t forget how he also cast out demons and raised the dead.  As if all this wasn’t amazing enough, he said in John 14:12-14, “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. 13. You can ask for anything in my name and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. 14. Yes! Ask me for anything in my name and I will do it!”

Unfortunately in too much of the Body of Christ, this is glazed over or altogether ignored, but look at what Jesus said. He said “anyone who believes in me…”  This is where each of us has to make a decision.  We either believe or we don’t, and, if we do believe, we have an entire world of the supernatural to experience and release on anyone in our path.

One thing God is working on with me these days has to do with how much I am willing to allow to go on in my life and body.  Carrying twins or more is seriously no joke.  While it’s true that every pregnancy is different, carrying multiples is in a class all it’s own and in my experience, is in no way comparable to carrying a singleton.  I am experiencing discomforts and pain that I never imagined possible and the weightiness is nothing short of astounding.

There are times where I am on the brink of tears or full blown ugly crying and the Lord will tap my shoulder and ask me what I am looking at.  In those moments, I realize I am focused on my problem, thus magnifying and empowering it, instead of speaking to it and telling it what to do.

In addition to pain, I am finding myself rejecting a lot of comments people make regarding my experience now or in the near future.  For instance, I mentioned being tired and someone said that I’d better get as much sleep as possible now because soon I won’t be able to.  Here’s the thing, Psalm 4:8 says, I will lie down and sleep in peace for you alone O Lord make me dwell in safety.  That’s my portion, not sleepless days and nights.

I didn’t think to do it with my first two children, but with my third and fourth, I spoke to them in the womb and told them how things would be for us.  I told them that night time was for sleeping and that we would all sleep well at night and that’s precisely what happened.  They’d wake up to nurse, I’d change them if necessary and right away, we’d be back off to sleep no problem.  I didn’t have any nights of sitting up with them, feeling like a zombie and I refuse to plan on that happening just because it’s “normal or expected”.  No, thank you, not when my Abba says I can have otherwise.  I am set to always expect, believe for and declare the absolute best over my life and that of others just because I am a daughter of the King of Kings.

My suggestion to you is to take a look at what you may be allowing in your life.  Does it align with what the world says is natural or God’s Word?  Which do you prefer, to live the world’s way or God’s?  My prayer is that we all come into full revelation of what we have and can do in Christ and operate out of that.  Let’s incite the world to jealousy!  Let’s show them what living a life with Christ can do in one’s life.

God’s Saying Something

I am struggling off and on with what comes naturally in a pregnancy.  Almost right away, this pregnancy has been marked with great exaggeration, “morning” sickness, the growth of my belly measuring a whole two and a half months ahead, the back pain, ligament pain, and more, all very exaggerated.  Everything points to this not being a normal, singleton pregnancy.  Even now, at 31 weeks along, I measure as if I was around 43 weeks along, and being 4′ 10″ tall, this all does a job and a half on my frame.

So, I know that as far as pregnancies go, I still have anywhere from at least 6-9 weeks left; and physically, things don’t tend to get easier the closer one gets to giving birth.  This means, here I am, struggling from around 23 weeks on and I still have,  at the very least, 6 weeks to go until I am full term. In the natural, things don’t look very hopeful at all and I hear the song, “One day at a time, sweet Jesus…” playing in the back of my mind.

Here’s the reality that I am choosing though.  I am not from here.  I am God’s very own daughter.  He has given me the ability to do what Jesus did and greater and I don’t recall Jesus telling anyone that whatever ailment they experienced was a natural result of whatever condition they had, so they should just deal with it.  Nope, he healed them all.

So, I started with making declarations over myself one night.  I declared that in spite of my frame, I am strengthened daily, by my Father and I am more than capable of not only getting through this but thriving through it all.  I had a wonderful time declaring over myself and my babies.

Now, I’m starting to notice other things though.  Once, as I was feeling down, super weepy and frustrated with my inability to do things as before, I heard the Lord ask me, “What are you looking at?”  I understood completely and said, “Ok, Abba, I understand.”  I was focused on my problems and my frustrations.  I wasn’t looking to Him at all and I felt absolutely horrible.

Then, there was a time when my body signaled that it was time to lie on my side (I’m not able to remain upright for long periods) and as I did, I talked to God.  I worshiped Him and just thanked Him and focused on Him and just enjoyed being in His presence, and, as I did, all pain just vanished.  This same thing happened twice more today.  Once, as I just focused on the Lord. As I sang to Him during praise and worship, every bit of pain I felt just moments before, went away and I felt great.

We had to stop at a supermarket on the way home, and the pain of walking was such that I had to have my daughter drop me at the front of the store so I could get a cart to lean on as I picked up the few things we came for.  I had to take off my coat and leave it in the car because I felt I would faint from being overheated.  Once in the store, I fought dizziness a few times (I needed to eat) and as I stood and paid for my items, I struggled to stay upright.  My back was on fire.  The guy who checked me out said he would go on and bag my items and I told him, “Hey, as you do that, let me tell you something.”  I went all the way in, no explanation or anything.  I told the guy about himself, his personality and what God wants for Him and prophesied and well, you get it.  He laughed and smiled and thanked me. He said I’d made his night with the great encouragement I’d given him.  I smiled and thanked him and, as I walked away, I noticed that not only was I walking upright effortlessly, but I had no pain at all and walked to the car happily.

All this to say, I think we take far more than we have to in life.  I for one, aim to change that.  I really believe God is trying to tell me something.

Defy the Enemy. Get and Keep Your Joy

I am about ready to burst, and some say I look like it too, hahaha!  I don’t mean with babies though, I mean with joy!!  I am finding myself consistently overwhelmed with joy as I just look to the Lord and then look at all that He is doing in my life and the lives of others.

I am currently finishing up a devotional on joy and it has been pretty good.  I’m not one to do devotionals or read the Bible just to check off some imaginary (or real) checklist, I want it to always be applicable, meaningful and impact my life.  If I find it is kind of boring and I’m just going through it to say I did it, I will stop.  God is never boring and neither is His Word.  I refuse to settle for less just to be able to say I do something each day.

Anyway, the devotional stresses that joy is our right as God’s children.  We can literally have joy in any and every season we go through in life if only we will look to God.  Many a Christian can quote Nehemiah’s “The joy of the Lord is my strength!” or Psalm 16:11’s “In His presence there is fullness of joy”, but how many can say they experience this reality on a regular basis?  This is where we should be as believers, allowing our Heavenly Father to fill us and be our joy, peace and strength.  Anything that we go to in lieu of His presence, for the purpose of gaining peace is not only not going to last, but it can and will become an idol in our lives.  I don’t want anything to take His place and position in my life, because there is truly nothing like Him in the entire universe. When I allow Him to fill the space in me that only He can fill, I truly feel I am seated with Him in heavenly places and man, there is nothing that can compare to it!

Also, I am finding Him to be more and more of a complete show off.  You take a step in a direction that He is wanting and wham, surprise after surprise of provision, gifts, and so much more overtake you all along the way.  It’s the best!!!  I can’t imagine living any other way.

The enemy does not want any of us to get this.  He wants to be able to continue to manipulate us and get us to focus on our circumstances. This can be such an emotional roller coaster.  Living that way means that you’re only as good as what’s happening around you, and who wants to be a puppet of their circumstances? Not me! So, take what’s yours beloved!  If you’re feeling off today, get in His presence, lay it all bare before Him and ask Him to give you something magnificent in exchange.  He is more than happy to do it and you?  Oh, you’re just gonna love it!

Natural Disasters: Acts of God?

In the midst of Florida’s hurricane watch, I saw someone post something on Facebook that mentioned how the “old folks” used to say, referring to hurricanes or other natural disasters, “Go sit down somewhere while the Lord does His work.”  I believe in respecting one’s elders but to put it nicely, that sounds off.

All my life, the catch phrase regarding God has been summed up to two phrases that I will never forget and I actually agree with them- “God is love” and, “God is good all the time (And all the time, God is good)”.  Now, when Love and Goodness starts sending natural disasters that literally destroy everything in their wake and kills people, in my mind at least, we have a problem.

There’s a mixed message that is prevalent in the Church… God is love. He is good and He loves you but make a wrong move and He will destroy you or someone you love.  One can scarcely attend a funeral where Job’s phrase isn’t mentioned as if it is the gospel truth- “The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.”  Sounds just like something an adult would do to a child to punish them.  Or a false friend who gives you something and takes it back.  We had a name for people like that who would give you something and then turn back around and take it away, and it wasn’t a good one.  This is some of what we’ve pinned onto God without a thought to what Scripture says.

In John 5:19, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the father doing.Whatever the Father does, the son also does.”  Jesus literally modeled the Father.  I have read what is considered the gospels many times in my life and while I don’t claim to know everything, I don’t recall ever seeing Jesus model anything akin to sending a natural disaster to destroy people, nor did he ever give someone something and take it away. Can you imagine Jesus, “Lazarus, come forth!!  Haha, just kidding, go die again now!” or, “You are healed, haha, now you’re not!”

In fact, Jesus told us in John 10:10 that it was the thief, referring to the enemy, who comes to steal, kill and destroy.  Jesus said that he came that we might have life and life more abundantly.  How exactly does sending natural disasters and taking gifts or people from people, fit in with that?  What kind of God do people really believe in?  If I thought God took 3 of my siblings, my father, my grandparents or anything else in my life, just for kicks, just because He is sovereign and can do what he wants, why would I want to serve Him?  That sounds creepy, scary and sadistic.  Why do we totally dismiss that we have an enemy whose primary focus is to do the exact things that we all too often attribute to God?

Job did in fact say that the Lord gives and He takes away but one has to look at the context in which he said this.  This was a man in the deepest moment of despair in his life.  Just because he felt that way and said that, does not make it true.  Earlier in Job, what went down was actually explained, it was the enemy who did it all, not God, and, in the end, God restored Job beyond what he’d had before.  I’m sure, the day Job reached Heaven and was reunited with all of his children, he didn’t feel they were taken away or lost any longer.

Another thing that is curious in all this “Act of God” talk, is in remembering how the Pharisees said Jesus was healing people with the power of the enemy and Jesus responded by saying that a house divided against itself cannot stand.  If the enemy made them sick or killed them, why would he turn around and make them well and raise them from the dead?  Makes absolutely no sense at all.  In fact, at least twice, we read about storms that were akin to natural disasters, wreaking havoc and Jesus calmed them.  Here’s the thing.  He said we are to do what He did and greater, and again, when the seas raged, about to kill people, He calmed them. He didn’t send them, he stopped them.  The way I see it, believers have a responsibility here that in some circles, is being totally dismissed.  Instead of making up slogans about how these disasters are acts of God in judgement of a nation gone awry, how about we do what Jesus did and greater?  What about that part?  Let’s speak to these “storms” and tell them where to go.  Let’s learn who we truly are and take hold of the authority given us by our Heavenly Father, through Jesus’ sacrifice and do something about it instead of sitting back, blaming God for something He didn’t do.  Let’s model Jesus as we were called to.