When God Changes Your Plans, Go With It

“God is good” is so much more than a catchy cliche. It’s just plain true. Not because He lets everything happen my way and I have the easiest time in life, but because He gives me what I need and walks alongside me through it all-the fun and the not so fun.

I am grateful that throughout my entire life, at least for as long as I can remember, I have had a sense of His presence. I have always been interested in Him. I’ve always wanted to know Him better. I’ve always been drawn to talk to Him, think about Him, more than what seemed “normal” for those around me.

I know that it is solely because of Him, and not some extra “God sense” I drummed up on my own. He drew me in. It is because of Him that I can share what I am now sharing about my childhood without false guilt or shame. It is because of Him that I can still belly laugh, yet cry out of compassion for a person who has caused me incomprehensible pain with no remorse. It is because of Him that I am not only free because He said so, but I am experiencing that freedom as I grow more intimate with Him and allow Him to tell me who I am, over riding all the lies I have been taught and believed about myself.

He is helping me to access parts of me that I have shoved down because I didn’t feel safe to explore them openly. He is causing exponential growth, not just in me, but others around me as I go through this healing and recovery journey. He is a serial blesser. It is beautiful to witness the growth in others simply because I became courageous enough to share as He leads.

After 23 years together, I am sharing stories with my husband that I have never even thought to tell him or anyone else for that matter, and he is doing the same. We are experiencing so much more together as we are being completely vulnerable, sharing heart wrenching tales from our pasts.

It amazes me how one can have words uttered over 30 years ago, still hurt them, and not think to do anything about it. We think it’s as simple as letting it go and forgiving, yet we unconsciously carry those scars with us as if they are beloved treasures.

I am learning that when the past interferes with the present, work must be done. Old beliefs and patterns need to be explored and changed. Truth must replace lies. Feelings must be processed. Only then can one truly forgive and let go. Even then, forgetting is not in the equation.

I hate “forgive and forget”. God has not called me to that. He is the one who forgets our sin. I don’t have that ability. When I forgive, I no longer hold anything against my transgressor, but to forget can cause a whole slew of issues I am not willing to spear head.

I have been groomed to forgive and forget but that is what kept me in a harmful pattern. With prophecy, I am trained to see the gold, see what is possible, see what God sees and wants for an individual.

In everyday life, it behooves me to pay attention to what is before me. When people show me in action, who they are, I am now intent to believe them. I refuse to just listen to mere words any longer. That has not served me well at all. The kicker is, I saw all along, but ignored what I saw in favor of what I was told.

It behooves me to see a snake as a snake, and not a cute little puppy that I want to lean in to pet. I don’t want to get bit. A snake is a snake, after all. It will do what snakes do. This is simple wisdom.

If a wolf, as in the story of Little Red Riding Hood, dons a sweet granny outfit, but “granny” is sporting a snout, fangs and a tail, I’d be a fool to simply take “granny’s” word. Look at what happened to Little Red.

No. I am not called to be a fool. I am to be wise as a serpent, harmless as a dove.

I will end here by saying, this isn’t at all what I sat down to write about. Lol, I wanted to write about food. I had another title in place and thoughts lined up, but I see God had other plans. 🙂

God bless you Dear Reader.

I’ve Not Disappeared, Well Maybe I Have

It’s been a very long time since I’ve written anything.  I’m writing now to simply say that I don’t really know what to say besides saying that I am on a very hard journey to healing childhood wounds.

I implore you, if you have any of your own, seek help.  It is unreasonable to think you can just go on and not pass on some or a lot of your own pain to someone you care for. Something I saw on Facebook from Christine Caine said it best, “If you never heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.” This makes me angry, actually.  I find it difficult to fathom being so unaware of oneself, that one leaves a path of destruction in their wake, completely and utterly oblivious.  I especially have a hard time when it’s children who catch the brunt of that destruction.  It isn’t fair.  I am intent on ending abusive cycles.  The buck stops here.  What I find even more disturbing is the covert nature of it.  When it comes to people, I have an easier time taking those blatant, in your face types.  Covert behavior bugs me because there’s such an insidious nature to it. It’s so ugly and despicable. Also, when one displays covert tendencies, it makes me feel that they have more control than they’re willing to admit, being able to behave one way here and another way there.  I don’t handle that well.

So, I pray you are well while I’m going through all the emotions and what comes with healing.  It’s hard, but it’s great and so very necessary.  I am already a very different, healthier, more alert me than ever before. I am happier too, actually.  As I said, it’s difficult at times, but this is a good thing.  God is with me and I know it.  He started me on this journey, after all.  I will aim to write again soon.  With love, Patrice.