Random Thoughts

I stopped doing birth work in big part, because I got tired of bearing witness to things that were wrong, dangerous, completely avoidable and traumatizing.

I began to say it was like going to watch an inevitable train wreck. Everyone could come out miraculously unscathed, dead, or something in between, and I witnessed every scenario.

I stopped doing the work I honestly loved, turned off the ringer on my phone and have left it on silent for years now.

I “lost” a “friend” who was accustomed to me being super available during my doula years. She didnt like that I was no longer so easy to reach all the time. I love and miss her but God has provided new friends.

Anyway, watching people today feels eerily like that of watching a train wreck in progress.

Only this time, while I still care and love, I am praying and fiercely guarding my peace. I’m not willing to just sit, worried, confused and hurt as I brace myself for impact of decisions I didn’t make. Decisions that weren’t up to me in the first place. We all have free will. I honor others’ right to exercise that and reap the consequences thereof.

A Time of Reckoning

The harder life gets, the more I press in. When I press in, I find peace, love, truth, gratitude, joy and more.

These past few years may have been designed to be destructive, but they have messed up and caused a massive amount of construction to take place.

Trying to move one out of the way, they have multiplied the same spirit and it’s all coming to a head.

Everyone does not fold in adversity. Everyone does not become paralyzed in fear and acquiesce.

As this beast of a girl, this giant bride that was once sleeping becomes fully awake, the now emboldened will run for cover like the little cretin’s they are, but where will they be able to run?