I stopped doing birth work in big part, because I got tired of bearing witness to things that were wrong, dangerous, completely avoidable and traumatizing.
I began to say it was like going to watch an inevitable train wreck. Everyone could come out miraculously unscathed, dead, or something in between, and I witnessed every scenario.
I stopped doing the work I honestly loved, turned off the ringer on my phone and have left it on silent for years now.
I “lost” a “friend” who was accustomed to me being super available during my doula years. She didnt like that I was no longer so easy to reach all the time. I love and miss her but God has provided new friends.
Anyway, watching people today feels eerily like that of watching a train wreck in progress.
Only this time, while I still care and love, I am praying and fiercely guarding my peace. I’m not willing to just sit, worried, confused and hurt as I brace myself for impact of decisions I didn’t make. Decisions that weren’t up to me in the first place. We all have free will. I honor others’ right to exercise that and reap the consequences thereof.