There are these people in the world… People who are hurting. Some are angry, and I don’t mean just a little mad. They are enraged on the inside, ready to erupt at a moments notice. Some are in despair. They don’t know what to do, where to turn, and surely, they don’t know how to heal. Some don’t even know they need to heal.
There are people, walking around seemingly fine. We see them every day. They smile at us and wish us well, but if you take just a second to really look, you’ll see that the smile doesn’t quite reach their eyes. Some people don’t bother with a mask of any sort. They are akin to the walking dead, blank, steady gaze and all.
There are people who walk around like burn victims with exposed wounds. Any little wind that blows by, any touch at all, not only stings furiously, but it seems to threaten their very existence. Some know and are well acquainted with their wounds, others have no idea about the gaping, oozing holes they carry all over their person.
One thing too many of these people seem to have in common is they carry a rope.
When one has pent up emotions of any sort, there is a need for release. For some, release comes easiest with the use of the rope they carry. They walk around, hauling it along, searching, waiting, hoping to get someone to take the other end of it so they can engage in a much needed release that comes from that old game, “Tug of War”.
One needn’t engage them directly. They only need to sense someone is against them in some way, it being true or not is of no consequence, they only need to feel it is so. Then, in their minds, it simply is so. They can, in good conscience, feeling fully justified, act.
The problem is, we are at one point or another, all playing this role. We all see things in part, and from a wide array of perspectives. We come from many different angles of thought and another thing we all seem to have in common is that we feel we are right. We leave no room for others with differing opinions to be right as well because- gasp, horror of horrors- that might very well make us, well, wrong. Some cannot stomach that.
So, perhaps, along your journey, you have reached a level of freedom that another has yet to obtain. It offends them and boom, they offer you the other end of the rope. (((rope is dropped at your feet))) Do you engage? Most of us do, at least initially.
See, many of us have a deep seated desire to be heard and understood. We don’t enjoy our words and ideas being twisted into something sinister when we know in our hearts that our intent is far from anything evil. We know where we are coming from and if we could just help them see… (((picks up the other end of the rope and pulls)))
The issue with this is that all too often, people are where they are, and your engaging in that tug of war with them will not only not change their view (or yours) but they don’t even want any change. They are simply here to be heard. They are here for the release that tug of war brings them. They don’t care about your viewpoint. They don’t want to know more or learn from you at all. Some are actually hellbent on misunderstanding you. For whatever reason, at this time in their lives, that is what they feel they need and frankly, it isn’t about you at all, you just happened to touch a tender wound they have open. This is where discernment is key. You don’t need to have every person understand you. It’s not for you to morph into Holy Spirit Jr, complete with cape and tights, to force them to see the light. Let them be where they are and pray for them. Don’t engage in fruitless battles that leave everyone just a little bit more damaged and settled further into only seeing from their limited perspective.
We all, at some point or another carry wounds. At times, we are the ones walking around with that heavy rope, offering it to anyone who’d take the other end and assist us in a much needed, albeit damaging exercise of release. We also play or have played the role of the one just wanting to blow off some steam with no intention of actually healing, but simply leaving behind collateral damage as we pick up our rope once again and tromp off to find someone else who is willing to engage in the exact same manner, smh.
My prayer is that with God’s help, we can begin to see. I pray that veils are lifted, blinders are removed, scales fall off eyes and we begin to see the real enemy clearly. Helpful hint- it’s not each other. We need to stop looking at issues from an “us versus them” perspective and when possible, shift to an “us versus the problem” standpoint. Just that alone could completely change how we “fight”. It could shift from fighting against one another, to fighting for one another. What could that look and be like?
My prayer is that we can stop and think, “If I am the one walking around with wounds, why don’t I seek healing for them instead of keeping and ignoring them and carrying this rope?” Perhaps instead of picking up the other end, we can refuse to engage in such destructive patterns of behavior, thereby refusing to be party to causing further damage to others and ourselves. We don’t have to engage in a tug of war.
My prayer is that we could each make a decision as many times as necessary, to just drop the rope.