On His Mind

My Abba never ceases to amaze me. Focusing on the fact that He would not only create me but would long for an intimate relationship with me is more than I can comprehend.

Celebrities don’t really do it for me. My mom once took me and my cousin to a concert. I had a poster of the group in my bedroom and admittedly loved their music. I think my mom may have been more excited than my cousin and I. As the group performed song after song, and the audience screamed, stood and sang along, my cousin and I sat and watched the show quietly. I remember my mom being surprised. She figured we’d be among those singing and hollering and being all excited. It wasn’t that we didn’t enjoy it; We did. It just wasn’t that serious to be all up in arms about it. I felt like, I came to see the show, so I watched it. I don’t feel compelled to fawn over people. I prefer to stand back and watch, see what I am really dealing with.

In Christian events, it’s the same thing. There are some people, who, anytime a known name comes, they feel the need to seek that person out and speak to them privately at some point, when possible. I see no need. I don’t need to shake their hand or meet them any further than having been in attendance. I don’t know, it’s just not my style. Again, I prefer to sit back, watch and discern.

For as long as I can recall, God Himself is the only one I totally go nuts over. He is the one who amazes me when I come across proof that I am on His mind. He leaves me awestruck, time after time, giving me just the right words at the right time for people whose situations and lives I am so utterly clueless about.

One such time happened on a recent Saturday, at a children’s conference that I was a part of. It was a prophetic conference geared towards ages 7-12.

We had some older and younger children come along with siblings, and since they were present, we sought to include them as much as they wanted to participate. It was wonderful.

We taught on identity, hearing God’s voice and prophesying. We did prophetic activations with the children and had them up prophesying and all, it was such a blessing to witness. At the end, we had all the children line up to individually receive prayer, prophecy, healing or whatever was needed. As I stood in front, to receive people to minister to, I looked at the children and saw a 16 year old boy. He was disinterested to say the least. I got his attention and told him to come to me. I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to speak with him.

When he got close to me, he asked if I would pray for him. I said yes but stopped short of saying anything more. I just stood there, looking up at him (at 4’10”, everyone is taller than me). We just stared at each other for a long while, it was like we were both really seeing each other, like we were reading each other, gathering information. I loved him immediately and immensely. Thankfully, at that time, my oldest, who often ministers with me, was ministering to someone else, so he and I had this block of time, although surrounded by many, all to ourselves. After a while, I said, “Ok. I need to hug you now.” Now, I am excellent at hugging. I hug with love and sincerity. I don’t like what I call little pissy, pitty pat hugs, where you barely touch. I’d rather not engage in that type of “hug” at all. Not knowing what I will get in return doesn’t matter, I always seek to really hug people when the opportunity arises, and with this being a teen, and a boy, I really had no idea what would happen.

This child hugged me just as I hugged him. I unashamedly cooed over him, telling him how sweet he is and just poured out everything in God’s heart towards him that I was feeling in that moment. I feel it even as I type this.

Anyway, we hugged for a good while and then my daughter came into our conversation and we blasted him with an encounter with God that I’m sure that child (nor I) won’t soon forget.

The thing is, I was just being me, or so I thought. I was just following what I felt led to do. I had no idea who this young man was and how he got there. I had no idea that this young man’s grandfather raped his grandmother and that is how his own mother came to be. My God!! Talk about destiny! And the thing is, we talked a great deal to this young man about his destiny. We stressed his being here being very purposeful and so much more. We had no idea about the struggle he’d had on both, the night before, and day of the conference. He didn’t want to come, but not only did he make it, albeit reluctantly, God called him out and met him there, and we got to be a part of that!

I love that God does that to me. Often times, I’ll be somewhere shopping or ministering at an event. I will look out and see someone who is just working or trying to shop. I will inevitably see someone who has no intention whatsoever in coming up for prayer (at events), but God will have me leave the line of ministers, He will have me turn around in parking lots, hunt people down in aisles at stores, whatever it takes, to get to that person that He is longing to connect with on a very personal level.

Sometimes, it’s the person who just feels invisible, other times, it’s a person who isn’t even looking for Him, yet, they are on His mind. I love that!!!

As if having these opportunities weren’t awesome enough, my Abba recently did this for me as well. I received a call from an 11 year old girl in our youth group. She’d had a vision about me the night before. In her vision, I was getting married. I was dressed in white and my bouquet was that of white roses. She saw a figure standing at the alter waiting for me, she knew he was my groom, but couldn’t make out his features. I walked up the aisle towards him, looking at him. All around me, the people that were there were in utter chaos. As chaos reigned around us, my groom and I were completely unaffected. We just focused on each other as if nothing was happening at all. As I walked towards him, I began to sing. As I walked down the aisle singing, each person began to turn into angels, one by one.

What an amazing vision!!! I was so impressed that she would contact me to share it with me. What a confirmation of John 6:29 truly being my life verse! I have prayed so fervently for Him to be more real to me than anything or anyone around me.

It also reminds me of the phrase about one being, “so heavenly minded that they’re no earthly good.” That’s such nonsense!! The more heavenly minded one is, the more earthly good one can become!! The world has things so backwards!!

All this to say, it just amazes me how much we are on His mind. He will stop everything and do anything to get our attention and confirm things in our hearts. What love He has for us!

I will end by sharing two interpretations I got for the vision from my little girl.

From Gary- It shows that it’s important to keep your focus on Jesus who is the bridegroom and not get distracted by people around who have all kinds of issues and so lack focus. Their turning into angels, I believe shows that as you stay focused and in a state of worship, people will see and be affected. Angel is another word for messenger so people will become focused on doing what they are called to do as you stay focused and your example will influence them.

From Russ: You’re going to fall more in love with Jesus and experience more of His nature in you.
Your ministry of helping people experience Papa’s best for their lives is about to become ridiculously easy.

I also think the vision is for the body of Christ. We are entering a new season where Jesus is becoming more of a focus than ever before. And what we release out of our place of oneness with Him will profoundly impact and change people’s lives.

God is too much!! Until next time, dear reader, be blessed!

Life Giving Words

I enjoy encouraging people.  It’s something that comes natural to me.  If I see or notice something about a person, I feel the need to tell them.  Oftentimes, I have taken this compulsion as just a little thing but I am seeing more and more that it isn’t a small thing at all.  There are times when, what to me seems minuscule, means the world to others. Each time I am faced with this fact, it startles me a bit.

See, you never know how one kind word can impact someone.  A person could be having a really tough time, or worse, have suicidal thoughts, and one kind word could make all the difference.

I know of one such time where the words used, weren’t even kind per se, they were just words, but they meant everything, so much so, that a life was literally saved.  If I remember correctly, my brother Scott who told a group of us about this, said the words were, “Yellow flamingo”. If I’m wrong, we’ll just pretend that’s correct.

There was an event (Christian gathering of some sort), and someone got a word from the Lord and it was “yellow flamingo”.  They got nothing else, no insight whatsoever.  So, when the opportunity came for them to get on the mic and say it, although they felt beyond silly, they went.  Imagine, a gathering filled with people and you get “A word from the Lord” like that with nothing else.  Now, there are times that I get what to me is a strange word and nothing more.  Then, when I say that part, the Lord gives me more.  It’s an exercise of trust.  Anyway, this poor soul got nothing else, lol, even after saying it.  So, after getting on the mic and saying, “Yellow flamingo”, and getting nothing else from the Lord, the person turned, intending to return to their seat.

Suddenly, there was a loud cry. The (crying) person was approached.  Sobbing, the person said that they had planned to commit suicide once they returned home that evening.  They hadn’t even planned on attending the event but had the sudden urge to go, and before leaving, they told the Lord, “If you tell someone to say ‘yellow flamingo’ to me, I won’t kill myself.”  Well, that brave person literally saved a life that day.  We just never know how we can help others.

This is why, in part, when I feel impressed by the Lord to say something, anything to others, I just do it.  I’m only responsible for being obedient in giving the word, I’m not responsible for what happens next.  I just need to do my part.  Imagine if the person thought, “Yellow flamingo?  That doesn’t even make sense! I’m not saying that!  I must be just making stuff up!”, and said nothing.  If they had stayed silent, a precious life would have been lost that evening, but God is so good that He told a person who would push past feeling uncomfortable or even embarrassed, and just deliver the life saving words to the one who desperately needed it. Wow!!

God is really good at getting us to step out of our comfort zone, but we have to be willing to go.  The rewards of following His leading in this way are nothing short of amazing but it can also be a quite sobering experience.  You just never know.  I encourage you this week, to unleash a multitude of encouraging words over others.  No one should be safe from getting a kind word from you.  I challenge you to especially do it with one who is being… a bit difficult to love, hahaha.  That’s some real stuff right there! If you find that too difficult, baby steps, give a kind word to someone else.  Have fun with it.  It’s like scattering seeds of something delicious and looking back to see that you have an enormous harvest to enjoy.  It is one of those things that blesses the person and you, and it feels wonderful!  So, go for it!  Bless some people with kind words and watch how things change for you.

His Word Is True & He Is Good

While chatting with a group of friends, a thought occurred to me.  We have a tough time trusting God oftentimes because of the relationships we have and have had with authority figures.  Our mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, teachers, pastors, etc, haven’t always done a good job of leading us in a manner that is Christ like, so we learn to be mistrustful.  Then, we transfer the transgressions of others onto God and become believers who don’t always quite believe God.  That’s sad.

One prayer that I recall praying early on, was that God would make Himself more real to me than any human being in front of me.  Where the Word says, “Let God’s Word be true and every man a liar.”, I want that to truly be the case for me, because God’s Word is most certainly The Truth.

My prayer for you this week is the same.  I pray that God is more real to you than any human or circumstance you face.  I pray that you learn to laugh in the face of adversity, knowing that there are far more for you than could ever be against you.  I pray that you, like God, have the ability to laugh heartily at your enemies, knowing that God knew each situation you’d face and provide for you in full, for that situation.  Our God is the most trustworthy Person ever.  My prayer is that we all sincerely know that, not just in our heads, but in our hearts in an experiential way.

Something else happened, which actually prompted me to write this blog post. From time to time, I gather my children and we practice sitting in God’s presence together.  We each hear from Him and share what we’ve heard, and sometimes, we end up prophesying over each other.  It’s nice.  I want to do my best to help foster an intimate relationship with the Lord for each of them.  I often tell them, they can’t live off of my faith.  They need their own relationship with Him.  To not have one, is to cheat oneself immeasurably.  To fool oneself into thinking, “I know God” when there really is no intimacy, is also doing oneself a colossal disservice to say the least.

This time, we each asked the Lord to either share what He wanted or each could ask about something specific.  When we shared, everyone got something really nice. Two girls got words about their future, regarding ambitions and/or goals they have.  The Lord gave one girl ideas on how to do what she is interested in, while the other, He totally had her think in another direction.  This made for a great discussion on how we can do things simply because it is what is expected of us, ie. graduate high school, you go to college.  Is this something that believers stop and ask God about?  Is that the path God truly has for a high school graduate?  Do many even bother to ask His thoughts? How does it feel to go against what others think you should be doing and follow God’s leading? We had a very good discussion about this.

Another girl got one word, an odd word, “cheesesticks”, lol.  We laughed and talked about how silly she is and how she is coming into “her thing” with God and how He speaks to her based on her personality.  We even delved into the interpretation and it was really good. (Too much to type here)

I got two words to start.  “Get Ready.”  Initially, I was smiling but when I heard those words, my smile faded.  I could also hear T. D. Jakes saying, “Get Ready, get ready, get ready!!” As I looked scared, the Lord began to speak to me saying, “Lighten up.  Stop thinking everything is so grave and negative.  I am your friend.  Real friends don’t burden friends with things they can’t handle.” I began to hear the song, “I am a friend of God” and just smiled.

I realize that religion has taught me that Gaawd- (I wish you could hear me say that) is super serious, mean and ready to strike when we mess up.  He might let all kinds of crazy things happen to you, He may even cause them, and you just have to deal.  Also, He’ll want you to go somewhere and/or do some thing that is not only of no interest to you, but something you actually dread. This is not true.  God is good, kind, loving, thoughtful, full of mercy and wisdom.  He calls us friend and loves us immensely.  My prayer is that we are able to put to rest all ill conceived notions and truly know Him.  He is good.

God’s Saying Something

I am struggling off and on with what comes naturally in a pregnancy.  Almost right away, this pregnancy has been marked with great exaggeration, “morning” sickness, the growth of my belly measuring a whole two and a half months ahead, the back pain, ligament pain, and more, all very exaggerated.  Everything points to this not being a normal, singleton pregnancy.  Even now, at 31 weeks along, I measure as if I was around 43 weeks along, and being 4′ 10″ tall, this all does a job and a half on my frame.

So, I know that as far as pregnancies go, I still have anywhere from at least 6-9 weeks left; and physically, things don’t tend to get easier the closer one gets to giving birth.  This means, here I am, struggling from around 23 weeks on and I still have,  at the very least, 6 weeks to go until I am full term. In the natural, things don’t look very hopeful at all and I hear the song, “One day at a time, sweet Jesus…” playing in the back of my mind.

Here’s the reality that I am choosing though.  I am not from here.  I am God’s very own daughter.  He has given me the ability to do what Jesus did and greater and I don’t recall Jesus telling anyone that whatever ailment they experienced was a natural result of whatever condition they had, so they should just deal with it.  Nope, he healed them all.

So, I started with making declarations over myself one night.  I declared that in spite of my frame, I am strengthened daily, by my Father and I am more than capable of not only getting through this but thriving through it all.  I had a wonderful time declaring over myself and my babies.

Now, I’m starting to notice other things though.  Once, as I was feeling down, super weepy and frustrated with my inability to do things as before, I heard the Lord ask me, “What are you looking at?”  I understood completely and said, “Ok, Abba, I understand.”  I was focused on my problems and my frustrations.  I wasn’t looking to Him at all and I felt absolutely horrible.

Then, there was a time when my body signaled that it was time to lie on my side (I’m not able to remain upright for long periods) and as I did, I talked to God.  I worshiped Him and just thanked Him and focused on Him and just enjoyed being in His presence, and, as I did, all pain just vanished.  This same thing happened twice more today.  Once, as I just focused on the Lord. As I sang to Him during praise and worship, every bit of pain I felt just moments before, went away and I felt great.

We had to stop at a supermarket on the way home, and the pain of walking was such that I had to have my daughter drop me at the front of the store so I could get a cart to lean on as I picked up the few things we came for.  I had to take off my coat and leave it in the car because I felt I would faint from being overheated.  Once in the store, I fought dizziness a few times (I needed to eat) and as I stood and paid for my items, I struggled to stay upright.  My back was on fire.  The guy who checked me out said he would go on and bag my items and I told him, “Hey, as you do that, let me tell you something.”  I went all the way in, no explanation or anything.  I told the guy about himself, his personality and what God wants for Him and prophesied and well, you get it.  He laughed and smiled and thanked me. He said I’d made his night with the great encouragement I’d given him.  I smiled and thanked him and, as I walked away, I noticed that not only was I walking upright effortlessly, but I had no pain at all and walked to the car happily.

All this to say, I think we take far more than we have to in life.  I for one, aim to change that.  I really believe God is trying to tell me something.

Discipleship At Its Best

In Matthew 28:19, Jesus starts off by saying, “Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations…”  I am crying and filled with such an immense sense of joy as I type this because for once in my life, in a church setting no less, I can think of 3 beautiful men who are so dear to my heart who are doing just what Jesus said, for me.  These men, in no particular order include, Dennis Arroyo, Russ Painter and Gary Fishman.

These three prophet guys are so very special to me.  They have been my introduction into what Jesus modeled in leadership.  I can sit and just form a puddle of tears around myself thinking about them and what gifts they are to the Body of Christ and me in particular.  They have and continue to give me so much, even without always realizing it.  I really need to get it together, I can hardly see as I type at this point, I keep crying. 🙂

What I love is that none of these men claim, by any means, to know it all, to have perfect theology  or anything of the sort.  They are simply real, honest, pure and nothing short of astoundingly amazing men of God who truly have His heart for His creation.  They don’t try to be in or make spotlights or brands or names for themselves.  They push others to become what and who God has made them to be and they do it with love.  Russ gives you gentle but firm nudges.  Dennis is more than ready to step aside and pass a mic, and Gary, if there’s ever a bus you want to be thrown under, it’s one he’s a part of.  To say that I love them just feels so inadequate and minuscule, but I do, dearly love them all.

They are helping me to grow and learn and be more effective in the part of my walk with Christ that is to be in the “spotlight”.  I am more than happy to sit off to the side, in the background but it’s not the easiest thing to do when you have a gift to sing and speak.  One kind of has to be in the fore front for such things. 🙂 These guys help make that so much easier.

So, Lord, I declare lots of more over these beautiful men and their beautiful families.  More love, more joy, more peace, more strength, more growth, divine health, supernatural wealth, all above and beyond for them.  Go crazy, Abba, like only You can.  Lavish  them millions of times over with all that they selflessly give so many others.  And, let me see it happen, just so I can laugh, cry, and rejoice with them. Thank you so much Abba.  You are truly too much but at the same time, I can’t get enough of You!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Freedom

One of the many ways God speaks to me is through my dreams.  It is one of my favorite ways because I have so little to do with it as far as control or messing it up.  He often tells me what He is doing or about to do through them.  He also warns me of what is soon to come through them as well and I just love it all.  Talk about Holy Intel!

One such dream went like this…  In the dream, I would look at the palm of my hands and then as I looked, I could see that the pads of my fingers were bruised. So, using the other hand, I would squeeze the pads of each of my fingers and thumbs one by one.  As I did this, lots of little needles, like the size of sewing needles, would protrude out and I would remove them.  I was happy to remove them, it was fun, even.  I did each of my fingers and thumbs until all the needles were removed.  Weird dream right?

I sent it to Gary Fishman, who interprets dreams.  Gary said that the needles represented words and negative things that people have said about or to me that have gotten under my skin and held me back in various ways. Removing them represents my gaining freedom in those areas.

Of course, this was amazing news to me but here’s what Gary didn’t know at that point.  Two people, an adult woman and an 11 year old girl, both prophesied over me recently that God was healing me in various ways, not just physically, but emotionally and other ways as well.  Then, I had that dream.  Also, something else happened.

One day, after I returned home from visiting family and friends in the DC area, I sat on my bed, looking at pictures of my son that my beautiful Debbie took and sent me.  14054219_10210243946161183_2369251474626678082_n

Here’s where God got all up in it.  I admired Debbie’s work first.  She is an amazing photographer, among many other things and my boy is a ham.  Then, I admired my son.  He’s quite adorable, right?  Then, God highlighted his complexion, but He didn’t stop there.  I looked at my son and saw the beautiful hues under his brown skin, the orange/yellowish highlights and before I could form a thought, God began to play a short movie in my mind.  There were various scenes from my childhood.  Being called names by classmates who didn’t deem me dark enough. A scene from my dark skinned cousin and I playing together and him shouting, “I’m the Black Avenger!”, after which, I yelled, “And I’m the Brown Hornet!”, then, out of nowhere, my dark skinned grandmother comes rushing into the room, got in my face and said, “No. You’re the brown nothing.  That’s what you are, a brown nothing!”  She left my cousin and I confused as we were way to young to comprehend what had happened.  Of course this didn’t stop me from letting my mom know that I was a brown nothing when I got home that day.

All that was a lot, but God wasn’t finished with my little movie.  Then I saw, countless times that others around me were deemed chocolate beauties, while I stood back watching it all.  I learned to appreciate dark skin.  I have always loved dark skinned people and could easily see their beauty where others couldn’t, but here’s what also happened.  When I looked at my hand or in the mirror, I didn’t look like them.  I wasn’t so “chocolate”.  So, I learned that they are gorgeous, beautiful people and me, well, not so much.  I just didn’t measure up.  Then God showed me a few more scenes.  One was of me and a dark skinned friend who I thought far more beautiful than me, holding hands, sitting on the floor, chanting, wishing to magically change and be each other’s complexion.  She was tired of being called black and I just wanted to be beautiful like her. I needed to be darker. Then, I saw the astonished look on my boyfriends face as my tiny grandmother practically dragged him into the house upon first laying eyes on him.  He was a beautiful chocolate boy, so immediately, he was approved.

So, God showed me all this, and then, He began to play scenes from times where I was complimented by friends and others about my complexion and I all but dismissed most of them because what I’d learned first, from the people most important to me, stuck.

Then, I saw myself just a few weeks ago, at a cookout.  It was said that there was a gorgeous chocolate little boy there.  When I saw him, I gasped, he was in fact gorgeous.  Then, still needing some sort of twisted approval, I made sure to mention that not only had I seen the boy, but I agreed that he was beautiful.  I got my nod of approval but when it didn’t feel good,  I dismissed it.  When God showed me that scene again, which occurred not even two weeks ago, I sat on my bed and cried.  I had let others issues with themselves affect and infect me to such a degree that I thought nothing of myself.  I thought nothing of the beautiful complexion He chose to give me, nothing at all.  I took on others’ issues as if they were my own and I owned those issues, unknowingly, for decades.

I repented and thanked God for newfound freedom.  I looked in the mirror and studied my beautiful skin and appreciated it like never before.  I’m right in the middle.  I’m not dark skinned and I’m not light skinned, but what I am is absolutely, perfectly beautiful.  I looked and looked for that gorgeous boy at the cookout when I had a gorgeous boy right there at the table with me- my son!

So, I’m done taking on issues that aren’t mine, and I am praying fervently for others with these color issues because really, it’s stupid.  I apologized to my brown husband for telling him that he’d better know that I married him for love, because he’s not dark enough. I have also apologized to my children and told them they no longer have to watch what they say about their complexions around certain people.  I am released from that bondage. Beauty comes in so many different shades and hues.  I am grateful to God that I am now free in this area.  I take to heart Galations 5:1 which says- “Stand firm therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and don’t be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.”  I am free and will remain free.  Hallelujah!!!

It’s All the Body of Christ

I absolutely love where I am right now.  I am speaking of the weekly services I attend at Heaven’s Invasion and more.  I must say that every other church experience I had, held this sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken but definitely understood notion that everything you needed was all “in house”.  If you missed service there, to go elsewhere, you were missing out.  It was almost seen as a sin to go elsewhere for your spiritual needs.  Almost as if you literally stepped outside the Faith and dabbled into some other religion.

Now, it is totally different, I see the body of Christ on a much broader spectrum and can go to other churches and know that I am still home.  I have two such homes besides Heaven’s Invasion.  One is Calvary Tabernacle and the other is The Sanctuary Fellowship in the Bronx.  Gary Fishman is one of the pastors at The Sanctuary Fellowship.  He interpreted a dream for me, and I learned that he has an annual prophetic summit in September (this year it is September 17th), so I went.  I swear, when I walked in the building, I immediately felt at home.  I was in no way, a mere visitor, it was so comfortable.  I immediately fell in love with the people and the worship was other worldly.  I actually met my pastor, Russ who led a workshop there but I didn’t realize he was actually 20 minutes away from me in NJ.  Gary later invited me to Heaven’s Invasion to give a testimony during their Thanksgiving dinner celebration.  That was my first day at Heaven’s Invasion and we have been going ever since.

Anyway, Gary has these amazing workshops and classes every 3rd Saturday in the Bronx. As much as we are able, we are front and center for them.  These are people who exude the nature of Jesus so well and completely, one can’t help but feel welcomed, loved and at home with them.  I have met many there who are invaluable to me.  It is my home in the Bronx!

Then, we have Calvary Tabernacle… (((le blissful sigh))) Calvary is so very special to me for several reasons. First, this is a place where Pastor Clem has allowed several churches to occupy the same building.  That speaks volumes!!  Heaven’s Invasion is one of the several ministries that meet there.  Again, this is a place that is so comfortable.  There is so much love there.  My favorite part is the youth.  Oh, my word!! I have never seen such an amazing group of children.  Children who truly love the Lord and each other with an openness that makes me tear up every time I see them. My two oldest daughters joined the youth group last year and loved it.  This spoke volumes to me because my oldest has been a part of many youth groups and she never stayed with any of them because they were very superficial.  The kind that says don’t have sex, live holy. They plays games, eat snacks and that’s about it.  She wanted more and found it at Calvary.  These children are learning to hear from God for themselves and others, they are learning to go deep with the Lord and are truly world changers.

I tried to stay away.  My children are all homeschooled and I wanted them to have something that I wasn’t a part of, but of course, God had other plans and my girls are thrilled that I am there.  Last July, the day after I had the first of 5 consecutive miscarriages, the prophetic evangelism group that I was a part of was invited to attend a meeting with the high schoolers of the youth group and prophesy over them.  What a night that was for me!!  There was one boy that I immediately loved, named Aaron.  God revealed to me that although he had been through some serious and strenuous things, he has an amazing calling and future ahead of him.  I prophesied over several others that night but at that time, he stuck out to me.  I was also touched by the leader, Dennis.  His love for the children was almost palpable.  I was amazed.

I used to drop my girls off on Wednesdays and just sit in the car, trying to stay away but slowly, as I sat in that parking lot, reading or talking on the phone, God began to speak to me about various kids.  Sometimes I gave them what God gave me, other times, I just stood back.  Eventually, I ended up inside the building, but in another area as I waited for them to be done each week.  Then, I don’t even remember how it happened, but I ended up sitting in the back during their service with my son who is normally asleep.

By this time, God started to speak to me about them, directly and through others.  My friend Evelin and so many others gave me words about them.  Evelin and my girls were the only ones who knew I was secretly in love with these people but trying to stay away.  Eventually, I became a leader and I have never been happier.  When I considered asking about being a leader, I hadn’t said anything but I remember Will, another leader, coming to me saying, “Have you ever considered becoming a leader?  It’s obvious that you love them and have a lot to offer.”  I said something snarky like, “Prophetic much?” because I’d literally just heard this from God.

When I finally went to Dennis, of course after needing so many confirmations from God, (such faith huh?) he said yes, and said that I was an answer to prayer and that he wanted to speak to Russ first.  I connected him and Russ thinking he wanted to speak to Russ and make sure I wasn’t a lunatic.  I later thanked Russ saying, “Thanks for the good character reference, they bought it, I’m in, lol!”  Russ said that Dennis never asked about my character, he simply wanted permission to have me.  Russ, told him of course, he didn’t own me anyway, lol.  I was floored.  I still am.  We don’t even attend this church but we all understand that we are the Church and are therefore, family.  I thought that because I wasn’t a member there, I would need to go through some protocol but no.  I can’t tell you how honored I am to be among them and how very much I love them.

All this to say that I am so happy that there are parts of the Body that know that we are all family and truly live this out. There is never any mess about denominations or anything divisive.  It’s all love.  It’s all Jesus. I couldn’t be happier to be here in NJ, at this time.  This is how the body of Christ should live. Together. United, in and by His love.

Heaven’s Invasion

I deleted the post that I published yesterday.  I started that post a few days before but around 4am.  I couldn’t sleep, so I ended up erasing it all and writing something different, and publishing it from my phone.  The problem is, what you received was the incomplete first draft that I thought I’d erased. So here goes round two. 🙂

When I’d moved to NJ from DC, I was a staunch word of faith girl.  You couldn’t tell me anything. My goal was to pretty much find my church in DC, here in NJ, and live happily ever after.  Of course, that’s not at all how things went.  Over around 7 years or so, we went up and down NJ and NY, visiting churches.  Some, we stayed at for months, others, weeks and some, we visited once.  Although I didn’t realize I was prophetic, I knew God always told me definitively what church I was to join as a member.  He said nothing as we visited these churches, but I tried to make a few of the churches work.  Eventually, I saw how silly it all was and just gave up.  We stayed home and worshiped and studied the Bible and attended whatever church related events we were invited to.  We were believers without a home base.  At first I was upset about it but after a while, I began to hear from God more regularly, for myself.

I began to realize that I didn’t need someone to tell me what God was saying for me, I could hear from Him myself.  As I read the Bible, things that I had seen so many times before, jumped off the pages at me as something totally new and different.  It was amazing.

Then, I began to miss what I had growing up in church, community.  I felt confident that I could hear from God for myself and others, still not realizing that was prophecy, lol, but I missed people.  I love people.  So, after visiting The Holy Land experience in Orlando, FL, I began to ask God for the community I longed for.

Here’s the thing, God is a total show off.  To say that He gave me more than I bargained for is a gross understatement.  In this moment, I have to chuckle and admit, that He never did give me the church I wanted.  He did so much more.  He gave me Heaven’s Invasion. Heaven’s Invasion is nothing like any church I have ever seen or heard about, other than the first century one in the Bible.  In fact, it isn’t a church. It’s not a business at all.  It’s a regional gathering of believers.  It’s a place where Holy Spirit is Boss.  Where our pastor who we simply call Russ, is famous for saying that he isn’t in charge and asks, “What’s God saying?”

The mic is always open, it is never policed, and because we can all hear from God, people coming up to share what they see, hear, or sense, is a regular occurrence.  There are flags and dancing. The worship is literally intoxicating.  Angelic visitations as well as our resident angels fill the place every Sunday.  Prophecy and healing and miracles flow freely there.  In fact, when you come for the first time, you are bombarded with prophetic words from God that leave you feeling so loved and important to us and to God, because the truth is, you are.

Heaven’s Invasion is a very different place.  Firstly, we meet Sunday nights at 6pm.  Then, instead of starting with praise and worship, we start with the preaching/teaching, saving the best part for last.  No two Sundays are ever the same there.  One of my favorite things is that although we are a group of prophets, evangelists, teachers, pastors and apostles, you won’t hear anyone putting their function in front of their name.  It just doesn’t matter.  Everyone understands that those offices are simply functions.  Just as my husband doesn’t go by Air Traffic Controller Jermaine, there is an understanding that you simply do the job, there is no need for a title.  Jesus never stressed the importance of titles.  Because everyone is shedding old mindsets that are a result of the orphan spirit, we all agree that our favorite title/position is that of sons and daughters.  That is what Jesus modeled.

The best part of Heaven’s Invasion though, is the love.  My friend said, “Heaven’s Invasion is not a church, it is a family.”  She also said that she and her husband were really impacted by the obvious love that abounds there.  This is a place where there are no cliques, no hierarchy, no made up “office of the elder” (I mentioned the five fold offices above, better yet, see Ephesians 4:11), it’s just sons and daughters coming together and man… It is beautiful. I have never been to a place like this before.  Never imagined it could exist, but it does. We all chat daily, we go out to eat together, this weekend, there was even a sleepover! Together, we are doing what Jesus did and called us to do.  Just today, we received a video message from a guy who had Leukemia.  We have prayed with and for him, some of us visited him in the hospital.  We commanded sickness to leave his body and today, he sent us a video saying that the doctors can find no cancer in his blood any longer. Hallelujah!!!

I am so overjoyed to be a part of this family.  The people here are truly my family in every sense of the word.  My prayer is that more gatherings that truly exemplify the heart and nature of Jesus become more popular than the more common modern day pharisee movement we see happening.  I would love to see the places that hold such great significance in seating arrangements, costumes, titles and degrees, fade away.  I would love to see the bride of Christ arise, shed this orphan spirit that permeates so many facets of the Church, and be content with being sons and daughters, knowing that this is the best position ever and is without a doubt, more than enough.

 

 

Choose Your Adventure

For as long as I can remember, I have loved reading and books.  I remember, before I could read, my mom would read the Sunday comics to me.  I so enjoyed them.  Long after I’d learned to read, I kept reading those comics and so much more.  In fact, my mom used to take me to the thrift store for books every so often.  The books were a dime a piece and, it might as well had been candy we were buying, I was so happy.  I’d always finish them in a few days though and would want to go again. So, in between those trips, I made myself happily at home at my neighborhood library.  One of my favorite books to read were those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books.  It was wonderful to have one book where you could have so many possibilities, so many different journeys, destinations and adventures.

This reminds me very much of life.  There are lots of choices to be made in life.  I find that we oftentimes have more choices than we initially realize, especially with regards to our feelings.  We don’t have to let them rule us, or our day.  Let me explain what I mean with a few stories.

I awoke just before my husband, and before playing a quick game on my laptop, I answered a few emails and wrote a blog post for the week. My husband played a game he enjoys, then started to get ready for work. Once I was hungry, really hungry, I decided to make myself some pancakes and syrup. My syrup is super good!!  My oldest was with me as I made my pancakes, waiting hungrily to make her own when I was done.

So, here’s the thing, my husband will play around, wait around, lay around, and if I am making myself something to eat, he always wants my food.  In my head, and my daughter’s, we were both really hungry and just wanted to make our food. After all, he is a grown man and can make his own pancake, right?  I mean, I made the batter and the syrup from scratch, surely he could do the rest for himself.

Then, I started to think about how he’d inevitably come downstairs, just in time to want to take mine and I had a choice to make…  Go hide in the basement or back patio and eat in peace, or make him pancakes as he played his game. o_O  Now, in my head, I’m thinking he could very well stop the game and tend to his own needs, but then, I thought I’d just make the stupid pancakes and do it happily as unto the Lord. (Eph.6:7, Col 3:23 Col 3:17)

I decided that If he came down with a disposition that says, “She’d better have made me some!” or the like, I’d just know that I made them for the Lord and keep moving.  So, even though I didn’t want to, I made him some and put them aside, and just as I knew it, he came down, smiling happily.  Upon seeing the plate of hot pancakes he asked tentatively, “Are these for me?”  I smiled and said yes and although he is normally not a gusher, he gushed on and on about how wonderful a surprise it was that I did that for him and how delicious the syrup and pancakes were. I was happy and so was he and my oldest got to see me do something right.

While out to dinner with my husband, I noticed that our waitress was angry. She had a rough edge to her.  Instead of being offended by her curt service, I decided to bless her.  I asked the Lord for a word for her as we ate, and eventually, I asked my husband to go ahead and make his trip to the bathroom.  I gave her the word I got from God. She was so happy. She asked if I did this all the time.  I said yes.  Then she asked if I did it professionally, I laughed and told her I didn’t charge or anything but I suppose so since I have been trained to operate in my gifts.  She thought it was the best gift ever to have and said so and left me smiling.

Two of my daughters had a dress rehearsal on my youngest daughter’s  birthday.  Trying to make it work for everyone, we went out to eat at the restaurant of her choice and ended up running late for dress rehearsal.  The rehearsal for the 3 shows was from 3:30- 9:30. They were to be there around 5:15pm and do their first dance at 5:44.  I think we ended up getting there around 5:42.

On the way, I announced, “You are late, so let’s have some fun!  Let’s prophesy over this evening and tell it what to do!”  My oldest jumped right in declaring things.  I said, “I have one thing to add to what you said.  The rehearsal did not start on time.  They are running behind on each dance, and, as a result, you are not late at all.  You have plenty of time to find your place, dress and be relaxed before you have to go onstage.”  When I went to pick them up, I asked about it.  They said the rehearsal ran late and they were able to relax, get dressed and even rehearse a bit off to the side with their classmates before they went onstage.

The point is, we can change things because of Who lives in us.  We don’t have to be subject to funky atmospheres, we can change them.  We don’t have to assume the worse, we can declare the best and get it.  So, first chance you get, prophesy over your day.  Instead of taking offense at someone mistreating you or looking at you funny, make them smile, love them on purpose, step outside of yourself, stop being the victim, and do something kind for others, and, do it as unto the Lord.