Who Do You Trust?

I have so much swirling in my head.  There are so many things I am grateful for, that when I dwell on them, I’m about ready to burst with joy. I feel like I’m enjoying something kind of forbidden, by the world’s standards anyway.  I remember this old saying that goes something like, “Don’t be so heavenly minded that you’re no earthly good.”  I admit that I’ve heard that a few times in my life.  I’ve even been accused of not taking things in life seriously enough, as if worrying actually helps and is productive.  Here’s what Colossians 3:2 says, Think about the things of Heaven, not the things of earth. See, God has something different to say about our earthly “wisdom”, 1 Cor. 3:19 says the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God.  In Philippians 4:8, it says that we should fix our minds on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable. It says to think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

The question becomes, who are you going to trust, believe and go with?  I choose God, hands down.  Considering my problems and things gone wrong in my life or in the world at large, just doesn’t do it for me.  I love that I can go to the Problem Solver, the One who is never without strategies, answers and options for me to consider and walk out.  I’m excited beyond measure to even have some of the “problems” I now have as I can’t wait to see what my Abba will do with them as I literally rest and trust in Him.

When my daughter and I revamped our herbal business, we prayed. One verse that is at the heart of how we have decided to move forward with our business is Romans 13:8- Owe nothing to anyone-except for your obligation to love one another.  So, no debt.  Not a penny. The “wisdom” of this world says, “it takes money to make money” and most businesses start with a loan of some sort in order to get going.  Since we see otherwise in the Word, and know real life examples of people who have chosen God’s way, we decided to do the same and it has been amazing.

We have a few small monthly expenses with our company. One night as I was going to bed, I remembered that our account balance was dangerously low and bills would be coming out soon.  As I lay in bed, I said, “Ok, Abba, the account is low and we have no orders.  You know what we need so I thank you for taking care of it. I’m going to sleep.” The next day we got an order from a stranger and two family members.  Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Ha!! As I read what I just typed, I realize I straight up Philippians 4:6-7thd that “problem”.  (I know there is no 7thd, lol.)  I chose to not worry, I didn’t even start screaming to the masses, “Discount! Sale!”. I simply talked to my Abba about it, thanked Him in advance for working it out, and you can’t tell me I didn’t have peace, I went straight to sleep, haha!!

I love that we truly do have options when it comes to where we put our faith/trust.  I have practiced worrying and it was never fun.  In fact, every time an issue was worked out, it felt a bit silly to have worried so much to begin with.  After all, every single issue I have been faced with, has been taken care of, one way or another.  My odds are amazing, as 100% of what I’ve faced that made me think I’d just die, I lived right on through in the end.

So while I watch some of my friends on Facebook, posting in desperation about how they are so freaked out about our upcoming election, I’m smiling and thanking God for giving me insight on who He has ordained to be in office.  I’ve decided to go with that and rest.  Some of my friends have seemed to become straight toddlers, posting their, “Just unfriend me if you’re voting for X!” or “Anyone voting for X, explain why!”as if it is their business.  These dear ones, I am praying for.  I see past the childish behavior and see that they are worried and in fear of what may or may not happen a few whole weeks from now.  What a way to live.  My prayer is that every believer learns to truly trust in the Lord with all their heart.  He is faithful and so very trustworthy.  He has proven it time and time again.  We must believe Him.

Discipleship At Its Best

In Matthew 28:19, Jesus starts off by saying, “Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations…”  I am crying and filled with such an immense sense of joy as I type this because for once in my life, in a church setting no less, I can think of 3 beautiful men who are so dear to my heart who are doing just what Jesus said, for me.  These men, in no particular order include, Dennis Arroyo, Russ Painter and Gary Fishman.

These three prophet guys are so very special to me.  They have been my introduction into what Jesus modeled in leadership.  I can sit and just form a puddle of tears around myself thinking about them and what gifts they are to the Body of Christ and me in particular.  They have and continue to give me so much, even without always realizing it.  I really need to get it together, I can hardly see as I type at this point, I keep crying. 🙂

What I love is that none of these men claim, by any means, to know it all, to have perfect theology  or anything of the sort.  They are simply real, honest, pure and nothing short of astoundingly amazing men of God who truly have His heart for His creation.  They don’t try to be in or make spotlights or brands or names for themselves.  They push others to become what and who God has made them to be and they do it with love.  Russ gives you gentle but firm nudges.  Dennis is more than ready to step aside and pass a mic, and Gary, if there’s ever a bus you want to be thrown under, it’s one he’s a part of.  To say that I love them just feels so inadequate and minuscule, but I do, dearly love them all.

They are helping me to grow and learn and be more effective in the part of my walk with Christ that is to be in the “spotlight”.  I am more than happy to sit off to the side, in the background but it’s not the easiest thing to do when you have a gift to sing and speak.  One kind of has to be in the fore front for such things. 🙂 These guys help make that so much easier.

So, Lord, I declare lots of more over these beautiful men and their beautiful families.  More love, more joy, more peace, more strength, more growth, divine health, supernatural wealth, all above and beyond for them.  Go crazy, Abba, like only You can.  Lavish  them millions of times over with all that they selflessly give so many others.  And, let me see it happen, just so I can laugh, cry, and rejoice with them. Thank you so much Abba.  You are truly too much but at the same time, I can’t get enough of You!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Following Christ and Him Alone

I didn’t post anything last week because I was finding it a bit tough to make a whole lot of sense about what is going on inside of me these days.  Well actually, it makes perfect sense, it’s just, words escaped me and frankly, I was in no position to write coherently as I am almost always in a state of being ever so drunk on His love.

I have been feeling a bit differently  for several months now concerning some ideas and mindsets that I had about my Christian walk.  I couldn’t really put my finger on it initially but I just kept abiding in my Abba and as always, He has brought amazing clarity and revelation. Also, reading the book, The Mystical Union by John Crowder, speaking with a few friends who I consider no holds barred believers in the Word, and attending the Power and Love conference a few weeks ago just sealed the deal for me. I am forever changed.

I love how all I have to do is shift my thoughts to Him and boom, I am overtaken by Love Himself.

I love how I have but to focus on Him and allow Him to pour into me and He brings to light and fixes things I wasn’t even conscious of, let alone, looking to fix.  My focus is ever on Him.

I love the simplicity of His Word. In John 6:29 (NLT) it says, Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.” 1 John 2:6 NLT says Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.

I am finding that now, more than ever before, my focus is zoomed into Christ’s example.  If I am to be following His example, there are mindsets I have found that I need to let go of, mindsets that don’t exactly fit well with how He operated here on Earth.  I’m finding that the falling away of these old mindsets are producing an even greater sense of freedom in my life.  I truly feel like I am more than just a mere human being.  I’m not just here taking up space. I’m not locked into this constant struggle of I’m saved and going to Heaven but I have so many things I need to fix in order to receive all God has for me. I’m not striving or struggling to be who God created me to be, I am simply focused on Him and He is taking care of it all.

I am reading His word, not for information or to prove that I am correct (and someone else is wrong), but to know Him more intimately.  I am living in an ever growing state of revelation and awareness of who I am so that I can walk it out easily. I mean really, how hard is it to simply be who you are?  I am becoming love. I am believing in the One He sent and following Him and I am finding that His yoke is in fact easy, and His burden is light.  I am content to no longer allow my experiences or anything else I see, dictate where I place my trust/faith. My faith is in His finished work alone.  It is non-negotiable. I am choosing to follow Christ alone.

For You Dear Reader, With Love

Last week, before I traveled to spend a few days with family and friends in DC and Maryland, I told the Lord that I wanted my next blog post to be centered around you.  I asked Him to give me ideas and thought naively that I would write this blog post while I was down there visiting.  Of course, that didn’t happen.  Here’s what has happened…  This morning, I looked at my Facebook newsfeed’s, “On This Day” section and saw the memories I made on this day, last year and years before, and I found the perfect thing for you!  It’s a prayer that I wrote.  Instead of just writing word for word though, I’m adding to it and changing it a bit, as I want to make it more of a declaration for you than a mere “wish list”. So, here it is, for you, with lots of love, my dear reader.

I speak peace and joy over you. No matter what is going on in your life and around you, may you always remember that you are never alone, never without options, fully surrounded, and deeply loved.  May every trial you face, push you further into the arms of your Father until the enemy refuses to waste any effort and/or resources targeting you.

I command healing over your body, from top to bottom.  His blood flows through your veins.  You are His family and because healing is the children’s bread, eat up and savor every morsel, dear one.  I decree that not only are you healed, but you are transitioning to walking in divine health because as a child of God, it is your right, your inheritance.  Jesus left no one sick.  His will is always that you be healed, so I declare that over you, in Jesus name.

I speak encounters with the Person of Love over you, knowing that perfect love casts out all fear and I pray that you would give the enemy nothing to agree with in your life, thereby giving him no room to enter in and run rampant.

I decree that all chains and strongholds over your life are broken and destroyed.  You are free.  You are free to be you without apology, fully being who you were called to be before the foundations of the earth.

I decree that your mind is being daily renewed in such a way that you don’t suffer from that old, ugly orphan spirit.  I decree that you walk in an ever increasing measure of revelation regarding who you are and Whose you are, so that you are free from being critical, bitter, depressed, worn down and out and lonely.  The truth is, you are loved with an everlasting love, fully surrounded and cherished, just for being.  There is nothing you can do to make God love or value you any more or less, so I declare that the religious spirit is not a part of your life, making you think you must do something in order to get something from the Lord.  Before you knew Him, He loved you, chose you, appointed and called you.  Before you were born, He died for you and gave you His all.  You did nothing to deserve or earn it, He did it because He loves you.

I declare that you are wise as a serpent but harmless as a dove.  You don’t easily fall for the enemy’s tricks to get your focus off God and onto yourself and your faults.  If your focus shifts to your faults and makes you feel like you are back to square one, “Just a sinner, saved by grace”,  I ask that Holy Spirit would pull you back from that religious way of thinking.  You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus now, no longer a sinner, no longer a slave to sin.  Your focus is ever on your Father and His immense love for you.  No distractions.  When you focus on you in this way, you’re missing out on what God has for you and what you are to give others around you. This is self-centered, not at all as holy as it seems.  The Father does not want us beating each other or ourselves up over sin.  He doesn’t do this to us.  He paid for every single one of our sins long before we were born.  Focusing on your shortcomings does not help you to get better, as what you focus on is what will grow in your life.  Focus on the Father, confess all to Him and allow Him to change your focus. Be filled and stay filled with all that He has for you.

I declare that wisdom and understanding be your closest companions.  I ask that you become adept in stepping back, outside of yourself, when things happen.  That you would climb into your Heavenly Father’s lap and see from a higher perspective, what is truly going on and behind every situation you face.  I pray that you take to heart the fact that we wrestle not against flesh and blood.  I declare that you see with greater clarity than ever before and can have compassion and wisdom in every circumstance.  May your eyes be opened to the enemy at work so that you don’t fall for his tactics.  I speak a constant flow of Holy Intel over you, straight from Holy Spirit.  You won’t miss a thing.  You have the mind of Christ.

I declare that you are filled to overflowing with every good thing- so much that you can’t help but affect and infect others with the goodness of God.

I declare that you live, truly live, not just exist. You will not just reach your destiny, but you will enjoy the journey and help others do the same.

I declare a holy unrest over you that causes you to refuse to stay where you are forever, that you would be both content but also rise ever higher in life.

I declare all the best for you, as I want for myself. Let’s rise together. There’s no ceiling. There are no walls. If you have built any for yourself, my prayer is that you would break through them and be free.  I love you, dear reader.

All In a Day

I awoke this morning, so excited.  Today was a day that I did not have to be anywhere.  I could just be.  Well, besides my weekly visit to my wonderful chiropractor, otherwise, I had nothing to do but enjoy some time at home.

Before we went to visit our chiropractor, I had to call Verizon.  As the woman spoke, I began hearing from God about her.  I know these calls are sometimes “monitored for quality assurance” so I was frankly weirded out at the idea of “propheteering” on such a call.  (I know that isn’t a word.  I sometimes make up words…)

I almost missed it.  The lady thanked me for calling, I thanked her and I paused.  She hadn’t hung up.  I heard her typing, so, I said, “Are you still there? I have something else to say to you.”  She answered affirmatively and I told her all that I was hearing from God for her.  She cried and began to share some of her story with me.  It was amazing.  I felt so grateful that God gave us both that experience with Him.

Then, at the chiropractor, there was a guy.  He was really cute. He looked like he came straight out of the 70’s, maybe even the late 60’s, with his hippy hairdo and shirt.  I started to leave, then doubled back and gave him a word that really touched him.  I told him he was really cute first though, lol.

Once I got home, things just, changed.  I got annoyed because my daughter was all for going to an event when she thought I would pay for her.  When I said she would pay for herself, I could almost hear the screeching of the tires as she slammed the brakes on the whole idea.  I felt like I had failed as a parent.  The truth is, as my dad Russ reminded me, I have taught them to steward the money they get well. Perhaps this is just an attack from the enemy.

Then, because the enemy loves to kick us while we are down, it hit me.  Several of the babies I’d lost, if I hadn’t, would be here now.  Then it all just went downhill from there pretty much.

When I get like that, it isn’t easy for me to pray for myself or even ask for prayer but I did it.  I asked for prayer from my tribe albeit, at around 10pm, and got that and so much more.  Words of peace, sanity, comfort, laughter, Scripture and more.  One beautiful sister even sang to me.

Now, I’m feeling grateful.  I sought to be kind and encouraging to others at the start of my day. Although I didn’t feel I could pray for myself, God gave me the strength to ask for prayer from people who I know love me.  They did for me what I did for others earlier.  I thank God for my tribe, my beautiful family.  I love them more than I can say.  May they be repaid 100 times over for what they have done for me tonight.  And, if you don’t presently have the same unconditional love and support, I speak over you that, in Jesus name, you do now, not soon because soon is always coming, but now.

Chasing The Wild Goose

I am finishing up a book called Wild Goose Chase.  The “Wild Goose” in the book is Holy Spirit, and the author, Mark Batterson, is talking about how we should live a life in which we are chasing after the Wild Goose. Basically, instead of leaning unto our own understanding of things and how they should be and go, we should follow Holy Spirit’s leading.  The idea alone means everything to me because I can say without hesitation that I have lived my life chasing “The Wild Goose”.  I have done so many things and still am, that seem stupid, dangerous and defiant, and more, to both the world, and other Christians, but I was without a doubt led by Holy Spirit to go in those seemingly stupid, dangerous or defiant directions and I know that my life has been all the richer for it.

Yesterday, my oldest daughter and I attended an arts workshop at our favorite church in the Bronx.  The workshops included various creative art forms like fashion, dance, music, painting, poetry, drama and photography. My daughter led the workshop on prophetic photography and made me stay in her workshop with her as she led it.  It was fantastic!! I learned a lot and took notes.  By the 3rd workshop, she wanted to attend one herself and so did I, so we separated and I went to the drama workshop.  I walked into it just in time to join in the assignment they were doing- writing a monologue.  After we finished, we each shared what we wrote and it was wonderful.  Because I am finishing up the book and the whole following Holy Spirit is very much in the forefront for me right now, that was the subject of my short monologue. After reading it, my oldest said it sounds like a trailer to a movie. 🙂

Chasing the Wild Goose

I hide in You.  In the shadow of Your mighty wings, I abide.  I ebb and flow with You.  You lead me to do the impossible.  You lead me to do the unthinkable, unfathomable, the scary, and in them all, I find peace.  I find strength.  I find joy.  I find You.  Find You?  Not really, because You were never hiding.  It is in plain sight that You just, are.  Everywhere I look, I see You, I hear You, I touch You, taste You, smell You.  I would be lying if I said I feel alone because all I feel is, You.  You are the Wild Goose that I live to chase.  To the world, I look like a fool.  To some Christians, I look ignorant at best, but for You, I will gladly look like a fool.  I will be the biggest fool there is because life without You, living a life where I am not chasing You, is no life at all.

 

Midweek Prophetic Fun!

Oh!! I gotta tell you what cool things have just happened today! So my oldest, Jaiela,  passed her driving test today and is all official. We ended up having to go with a driving school because our cars are too new for her to use for the testing site. So, I went with a school that turned out to be absolutely amazing! I didn’t think it would be anything special, but Jitendra is so good at teaching that he had her parallel parking and more, perfectly, right away, with no prior experience. The girl got excited when there was one time that she didn’t do it perfectly during a recent lesson because it gave her the opportunity to learn how to fix it if it wasn’t done perfectly.
Afterwards, I sent him a text thanking him and naturally, I began to prophesy without thinking. I said, “I don’t know if you’ve considered this, but I see your business expanding in a way that is similar to branding, kind of like franchising. I see you training others to teach the way you do because it is truly unique and invaluable. You are helping to keep our streets safe with your method of teaching.”
Funny enough, he thought I was suggesting some kind of business proposal, lol and said that they are always open to good suggestions.  I replied that it was not a business proposal.  I was simply sharing what I see is possible for him.  I told him that I see him going beyond what he may have initially considered.  Then I went on and explained that it’s a “God thing”.  I told him that He shows or tells me things about people and I sometimes share it, that’s all.
He wrote back saying that it was 100% true and then he shared with me some of his plan, and in the plan, he had things like, “kind of  a private franchise, making American streets safe…”  Here’s where my mouth dropped open (as if it was the first time I had a word that I gave confirmed).  One of my spiritual dads named Gary Fishman- (this blessed girl has two of them jokers!) once told me to be bold and say what I see because God gives me very specific, detailed words for people and I need to just say it.  So, when I went on and said the thing about him helping to keep our streets safe, I thought I was waxing poetic or just being mushy because I was happy that my girl passed the test.  I had no idea that those very words are in his mission statement/plan. So cool!!
After that, I was able to go further and tell him more and he wants to chat later.  How cool is that?   God is so cool!  He always has wonderful surprises for us and I feel this is a story that has a definite “to be continued” kind vibe to it.

Grace to Enjoy, Grace to Endure

You don’t have any idea how much you can endure in life or what you are capable of accomplishing when you have an intimate relationship with God. Like Graham Cooke said, we have grace available to us each day- grace to enjoy what is happening and grace to endure what is happening.

I have done things this weekend with such a strength that I *know* there is no way I can take even a gram of credit for it. I simply made a decision, and my Abba totally carried me, then, my family by blood and The Blood, my tribe, people I can’t imagine living without, came alongside Him and carried me too. I am broken and fulfilled. Heart broken but so happy. I cry the heart-wrenching tears of a mother of many but I belly laugh and mean it with all my heart.

I have lost yet another baby this weekend.  It’s like I am filling Heaven with children.  This weekend was the weekend of what has become a favorite for me- the prophetic retreat.  I was charged with leading worship on Friday night with my oldest daughter and my spiritual father Russ.  I was also given the opportunity to lead a workshop.  Pastor Gary called me saying God showed him a vision of me leading a workshop on prophetic parenting.  What was hilarious was that he also said that he had no idea what that entailed, lol, so it was like, “This is what God showed me.  I have no insight for you on this. Are you in?” Without hesitation, I was so in.  🙂

I am growing to love these moments.  When God nudges me to do something I don’t know how to do or can’t do in my own strength, I simply yield to Holy Spirit, trust and move forward and amazing things happen.  After realizing I was losing my baby, I was of course told that I didn’t have to do anything I wasn’t able to do but with God to lean on, I did it!!  Philippians 4:13 means more to me now than ever before.

I cannot cry and sing, but with God’s strength holding me up, I was able to move forward and worship Him in the midst of my pain, physically and emotionally.  In the beginning, I simply swayed to the music to ease the lower back pain that comes with what I call the mini labor of miscarriage.  As I sang to my Abba, I felt like I was caught up in a swirl of color and love.  There was so much peace there.  The pain of my mini labor vanished in that moment and it was just me and Him. Bliss.

Then, I was able to do it again the next day.  We led worship and it was amazing.  I was able to sing prophetically over everyone and although I have no idea what I said other than remembering singing the word “abide”,  it is an amazing testament to what God can do when we simply yield to Him.  He takes care of it all.  In one moment, I sang strongly and prophetically over the crowd and in the next, I sat on Mama Robin’s lap, as she held me in her arms and I released what I hadn’t yet been able to.  I cried and sobbed and was probably super loud but I did not and do not care.  For me, this is huge.  It was a breakthrough moment that was so important and necessary.

Then I went on to lead two workshops on prophetic parenting.  That too was good.  Again, something that I didn’t know how to do, was done beautifully, with God’s help.When we come to the end of ourselves, He is just getting started. Brokenness is a good place to be in with Him.  A great place.  It’s where the best yielding and trusting can take place.  It’s the place of miracles.  It’s where the supernatural abounds.

Then,  the retreat was over.  I purposefully left without saying goodbye to anyone as I knew I would breakdown and cry.  I just lingered a bit and then left.  We stopped at a store on the way home and while in line, I looked at a young mother and God began to speak to me about her.  She was overwhelmed at times and not sure she was up to the task ahead of her.  She was with her mother in law, infant son and husband.  I looked for a way to speak with her privately and then laughed and said to my Abba, “Look at me, Abba.  I’m still hesitating aren’t I?”  He said nothing.  I said, “Ok, I’m gonna do it, you know I will.  I just don’t know how to do this.  How do I do this?”  He said, “You put one foot in front of the other…”  I laughed out loud and did it.

 

Partnering With God During Elections

I tend to hate when elections roll around. So much ugly, so much mess and mean spirited mud-slinging seem to permeate the entire process.  It’s a time when people’s true colors shine through and some of those colors just aren’t very bright or vibrant at all.  All too often, they are dull, dark and just ugly. This is not just the candidates, it’s friends and family as well, especially on social media.

This year, as God would have it, I have come across some wonderful wisdom.  More than ever before, I’m seeing people who are utterly baffled when it comes to who they can in good conscience, vote for.  For me, if a candidate doesn’t line up morally, I don’t think twice about voting for them.  This year, it does not seem as cut and dry but the wisdom I heard from Lance Wallnau for those in Christ is to pray and ask God who He has ordained for this role at this time and get on board with His plan.

John 10:27 says, “My sheep hear my voice, I know them and they follow Me.”

Romans 13:1 (NASB) says, “Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.”

1 Corinthians 2:10-12 says, “10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.”

So, let’s do it.  Let’s partner with God this election.  He is not surprised or dismayed in the least by all that’s happening.  He knew things would happen this way and has provided a way for us to thrive and move forward.  We have absolutely no reason to worry, fret, or fear.  We have but to focus on God and listen to His voice and leading. I don’t know about you, but that’s great news to me!

 

Moment by Moment Faith

Man, Jesus wasn’t kidding when he said that we’d have trouble in this world.  This week, two people who are very dear to me were highlighted.  We are all ministering to each other.  Three different sets of circumstances, all with the root need of simply and fully trusting God at the heart of each.  We each have done all we can do, now we just need to have faith that God is who he says he is and that the promises we have been given will come to pass.

We can talk ourselves into doubting so quickly, with no help from the enemy, but of course, he’s happy to help too.  This is where I see that we have a very unique opportunity.  Whereas, one who is having an easy, happy time can forget about God, we have the chance to press in, get more intimate and intentional with our worship, and just be more aware of His presence.  We are able to, if we look, see things differently, hear Him speak in ways we didn’t know he would previously and thus, be stronger in our faith for it all.  Moment by moment, opportunity for greater intimacy beckons.  It’s up to us to take it.

I wrote a short letter to God in my journal today.  It reads:

Lord, I don’t always understand or even like your ways but I trust you.  I know  you know what’s best for me and those I am to impact.  Help me to not fear or fret.  Help me to keep my eyes on you always.  Help me to enjoy every moment, every opportunity I am given.  Help me to not be tough to mold. I want to be pliable and trust in you.  Thank you for choosing and using me to help others.  Help me to be as sharp, effective and efficient as possible.  I want to do amazing things for you.  You have done so much for me- you’ve done everything for me!