truth

Responsibility

~ Patrice A London ~ Leave a comment

I think of random things. I remember a former friend projecting her words or feelings on me. We were in a disagreement and she said something about me saying I am grown. I hadn’t said that and certainly didn’t feel it.


Actually, I am just getting to a point where I feel like I am a grown woman. I was always responsible. Actually, I was taking responsibility for far more than was rightfully mine. I now understand that I am not responsible for so much of what I thought I should be responsible for, like another’s feelings, behavior, and needs. I thought I was here to take care of those things for others. I thought it was selfish to consider that perhaps I had needs and feelings that I should pay attention to. I thought I was here to make and keep others happy with me and somehow, magically, what I needed and wanted would be tended to.

What a load of crap, not to mention, impossible task, lol!

I can laugh today as I consider things several people, (most of whom are no longer in my life,) said to me, about me, all while very clearly exhibiting blaring examples of their feelings of jealousy and ill will towards me. Yet, I listened and took their “moral inventory” of me to heart.

Where I should have sang, or mentioned that I sing, I was quiet, for fear of being seen as a show off.

Where I should have danced freely and enjoyed myself, I sat, for fear of embarrassing myself because “I had no rhythm, just like my father.”

Where I should have enjoyed doing my 3 daughters hair, I didn’t and thought of it as a chore because, “I braided the wrong way.” I thought I’d make them look stupid.

Where I should have shared stories freely, taking my time, flowing where God led me, I didn’t, for fear of “not getting to the point fast enough.” I didn’t want to bore people.

Where I should have spoken up about my feelings, I shrank back, and criticized myself because my feelings were “wrong and I was being mean.” I was told I am too sensitive.

Where I should have shared my experiences, I kept quiet for fear of making some angry or uncomfortable. After all, I thought it was my responsibility to make and keep people happy with me. I thought I should tow the line, even if it was hurting me (and others).

I’m so happy God didn’t allow me to keep believing these things. I’m so glad He is showing me who’s who in my life, past and present. He’s showing me how to set boundaries and let that show me who’s who. Boundary setting seems to be a problem for toxic people. Today, that former friend would be right. I’m grown and I know it now. I understand more than ever before what and who I am responsible for and for that, I am grateful.

You Dropped A Bomb On Me (Baby)

~ Patrice A London ~ 1 Comment

In my blog post entitled, What’s On Your Plate, God basically told me I was co-dependent. I put it on the shelf so to speak, mentioning it again in my blog post To Share, Or Not, I mentioned the word, but at that time, I didn’t go too far into the subject. Now I am delving deeply into it and I am learning a ton.

While at a meeting a week ago, the table was filled with papers with various affirmations typed on them. As I sat listening to people sharing, I glanced over at some of the affirmations and started reading a few. One affirmation in particular distracted me so completely, I stopped listening to the speaker.

The affirmation read something like, “The most important person in my life is me.” I was instantly shocked and thought, “WHAT?!?! That can’t be right! This has to be one of those situations where the world says one thing and God says the opposite!” I was indignant. In my head, God comes first, then my husband then my children and on and on. I put that affirmation on the shelf, where I’d previously put codependency and paid attention to the speaker again, but that affirmation kept messing with me all week long.

It came up again after I finished writing a journal entry. Upon finishing it, I found myself starting to write it. I stopped, closed and put the journal down and said, “Ok Abba, let’s talk about this. This can’t be right can it?” I heard a very simple, “Yes.”. In my typical argue- with- Almighty God fashion, I said, “Ok, no, that’s not right. That’s selfish and wrong.” Then I heard, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” At that, I burst out crying, but I was not done arguing with God yet. I said, “Oh my God, that’s in the Bible. No, no it’s not.”. Mind you, I know full well it is, but I was majorly offended. I told my daughter to google the verse. When she read it and told me where it is, I burst out crying again.

The reason I cried is because God knows me. He knows my co-dependency is such that I tend to others and exclude myself. I’m ok if you’re ok, I will just suck up whatever I’m dealing with to make sure you’re good because you matter more, you matter most in fact.

Love your neighbor as yourself. My goodness Friend, if I treated you as I have treated myself, you would not like me at all. Not even a little bit. That hit home in a huge way. And, because God and I have a relationship that is not devoid of silliness, it was as if He put change in a jukebox somewhere because I suddenly heard the chorus to the song, “You dropped a bomb on me, baby, you dropped a bomb on me.”

At that, I could only giggle through my tears and lovingly say, “Abba, you are so stoopid.” Religious people should read “stoopid” as “silly” if that helps settle the spirit. I assure you, God can handle little ole Patrice. He is teaching me, and I love Him for it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

~ Patrice A London ~ 1 Comment

I just wanted to share some love notes from a class led by Francois Du Toit, author of The Mirror Bible translation. I hope you take the following thoughts to heart and know you are, have always been and will always be, deeply and immeasurably loved.

No one looks for something they’ve never lost possession of in the first place. You were always His. You can’t be lost if you did not belong to begin with.

My prayer for you today is that you would agree with God about you.

I pray that more than pleading with God to know His plan for your life, that you realize that your life is His plan.

I pray that you would rest beside the still waters and see yourself as He does. Your spirit remembers who you truly are.

I pray that you remember that whatever is true of Jesus is true of you too. As he is, so are we, in this world. (1 John 4:17)

Enjoy your day!

Love, Patrice

Ramblings

~ Patrice A London ~ 3 Comments

I am sleepy. I have been awake during hours I should have been sleeping. What started out as a typical trip to the bathroom, turned into my remembering more traumatic events from my childhood.

So many things come to mind.

I consider how easily and without any thought whatsoever, people get into destructive and dysfunctional roles and play them out, sometimes, for the rest of their lives, with little to no self awareness.

I consider all it takes for one person to stop the cycle of abuse that has been perpetuated in a family, in a most covert manner, for generations.

I consider who will be the ones trying to bring back the old order and way of doing things so that all is “back to normal again.”. Sometimes these people are intentionally sent, and sometimes, because they are uncomfortable, they just go of their own accord, all with the intent of “restoring” things.

I wonder how adult after adult, could be so dismissive, caught up in their own issues, to not see hurting children.

I consider and now see patterns in my own behavior and have a better understanding of myself, and why I did and do things in certain ways.

I am dissecting what people are really saying when their behavior, patterns and what they say aren’t aligned with one another.

I am questioning much of what I was taught as a child and believed most of my life, up until now.

I am uprooting lies I have been told and replacing them with Truth. Truth is a person named Jesus.

I am more mindfully parenting my children like never before.

I am learning to treat myself with love, compassion and care. I am angry at times that it isn’t easy at all.

I am paying attention to the knot that develops in my gut when I feel a boundary has been or is in danger of being trampled. I am gaining more self respect as I honor my feelings and observe my boundaries.

I feel I have an invisible, but very real muzzle on. I think it is coming off. I am exploring my feelings about this.

I’ve Not Disappeared, Well Maybe I Have

~ Patrice A London ~ 2 Comments

It’s been a very long time since I’ve written anything.  I’m writing now to simply say that I don’t really know what to say besides saying that I am on a very hard journey to healing childhood wounds.

I implore you, if you have any of your own, seek help.  It is unreasonable to think you can just go on and not pass on some or a lot of your own pain to someone you care for. Something I saw on Facebook from Christine Caine said it best, “If you never heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.” This makes me angry, actually.  I find it difficult to fathom being so unaware of oneself, that one leaves a path of destruction in their wake, completely and utterly oblivious.  I especially have a hard time when it’s children who catch the brunt of that destruction.  It isn’t fair.  I am intent on ending abusive cycles.  The buck stops here.  What I find even more disturbing is the covert nature of it.  When it comes to people, I have an easier time taking those blatant, in your face types.  Covert behavior bugs me because there’s such an insidious nature to it. It’s so ugly and despicable. Also, when one displays covert tendencies, it makes me feel that they have more control than they’re willing to admit, being able to behave one way here and another way there.  I don’t handle that well.

So, I pray you are well while I’m going through all the emotions and what comes with healing.  It’s hard, but it’s great and so very necessary.  I am already a very different, healthier, more alert me than ever before. I am happier too, actually.  As I said, it’s difficult at times, but this is a good thing.  God is with me and I know it.  He started me on this journey, after all.  I will aim to write again soon.  With love, Patrice.

To Share, Or Not

~ Patrice A London ~ 4 Comments

I have written several blog posts, only to put them aside.  I am not sure what to share or how much to share these days.  I understand all the reasons why I should be quiet right now and just deal in secrecy, but, what if keeping quiet is harmful?  What about the opportunity to have my issues be a source of comfort, relief, validation or joy for others?  What if my opening up could help more than my being quiet? My friend Juli recently told me that my super power is my transparency.  I agree.  I enjoy being honest and open.  I love the idea that simply sharing my journey can help others in ways I haven’t considered.

I have been on yet another life altering journey of self discovery and healing.  The Lord seems to be moving through all areas of my life, cleaning, pruning and making changes.  It makes me think of a time when my oldest daughter unknowingly gave me a word from God.

We were in a prophecy 101 type of class, and had chosen one number from a cup, twice.  The first number was to be our number, the second was the number of the person we would be prophesying over.  When it was her turn, my daughter said something along the lines of, “I see a person being molded and shaped, like bread.  They are very uncomfortable and want to fight against the molding taking place but God is saying to stop fighting against the molding and shaping, because it’s Him.”  I could only smile in awe when she announced the number and it was mine.  I haven’t forgotten that word she gave me.  It is very true of the process I am in right now.

God has brought to light things that weren’t exactly done in the dark per se, but they were done in ways and at a time where the truth of it all escaped me because I was a child, conditioned to think and believe in very specific ways.  I have learned that because of this, I am what the world of psychology calls, co-dependent.  I have empathy for everyone except myself and tend to be overly concerned about caring for the needs and wishes of others, even to my own detriment.  I have believed so much about myself and my personality that simply aren’t true.  He is teaching me who I truly am and healing me of past wounds so that I don’t continue the cycle of abuse with my children or anyone else for that matter.

I am working through a lot of rage that I have carried since childhood.  I used to fight, and when I did, it was pretty awful.  Looking back, I am surprised that no adult picked up on the obvious rage in an otherwise mild mannered, kind hearted little girl.  I am especially surprised this didn’t happen when I was suspended in 5th grade, for fighting after school, off school grounds.  I will just say, that poor girl has evidence of that fight today and what I did to her wasn’t at all warranted.  Let me explain…

As I walked home from school with friends, two of them suddenly began fighting.  One friend, got in a good hit on the other and without thinking, something inside of me snapped, and I was suddenly fighting the first girl.  I later went to her home and apologized to her and her mother.  I didn’t know what happened or why I did what I did. I messed her face up badly enough that when we went to school the following day, teacher after teacher was outraged at the sight of her face and, learning I was at fault, I was sent to the principal, who, also outraged, suspended me for 10 days.

Every single fight I had, I remember one common theme.  I would seem to leave my body, fight viciously, and suddenly come to myself, wondering how I got there.  Sadly, there were several people who were left with permanent scars, all undeserved.

The Lord is helping me sort through all this and more, and it’s not fun or comfortable. It’s very hard, actually. I see and understand the reason for it all and am grateful, nonetheless.  I know that, on the other side of this, I will be a better, stronger, truer version of myself. I will set boundaries and have consequences in place if those boundaries aren’t adhered to.  I will no longer quietly assume any roles  God Himself hasn’t designated for me to play.  I am done with it all, and I feel more free having just stated that.

With love, Patrice

 

What’s On Your Plate?

~ Patrice A London ~ 1 Comment

It’s been a little while since I wrote last.  At least it feels that way.  I haven’t really known how to say what I want to say at times.  Other times, I simply haven’t had much to say, and I won’t write if I have nothing to say.

I am on a journey to greater awareness of myself.  I am learning what makes me tick.  I am learning what triggers me to emotions like anxiety, anger, fear, sadness and my favorite, happiness.  I am good some days, and some days I am not doing well at all, but, God is here, taking me along this path that I must travel in order to get to a place where I see myself not as my parents have taught me to see myself, but as He sees me. He knows me best and His view of me is what will ultimately help me to be the best Patrice I can be.

A group of friends and I do prophetic assignments together every now and then.  One assignment had us envision a plate on a table.  The plate was filled with many things and so was the table.  We were to ask the Lord what, if anything on our plates, should be removed, decreased or increased, and what on the table that perhaps wasn’t on our plate, should be added.  I got a one word answer and then a moving picture.  My answer to what needed to be removed from my plate was simply, “People”.  Then, I saw the Lord remove the people from my plate and He got on my plate, arms outstretched, smiling, until He filled my plate with Himself.  Then, as He filled my plate, I saw all kinds of things go back on my plate but through Him, because as I said, He covered the plate.

I don’t consider myself a people pleaser, but I do love people and am very much an empath who has no problem at all feeling compassion for others.  My issue is that I lack compassion for myself.  I very easily leave myself out of the equation and that must change.  I need balance.  One dear friend, Jackie, has been pretty much saying this for a few years now.  Mothering and nurturing others is a skill at which I am a natural.  I love it.  I am learning to turn some of that mothering and nurturing onto myself and see myself as worthy of the time, attention and care I so easily give others.

He is to be the lens through which I see and do everything. I believe wholeheartedly that He is all in all anyway.  Nothing is changing on His end with this.  It’s my perspective that’s changing.  My subjective reality is matching up with what is and always was, because of Christ’s finished work.  I am healed and whole and waking up to that realization more and more.

I encourage you to do the assignment my friends and I have done.  Ask the Lord.  What’s on your plate that needs to be removed, increased or decreased?  What’s on the table that isn’t on your plate at this time but should be added?  Take time to dialog with the Lord about this and journal what you get out of it.  I’d love to hear about it too.  This exercise started a very serious and deep look at my life, like how my past affects my present.  It has highlighted different traits about my personality, habits and more.  Do this for yourself and see what God does with it.  It could very well change your life as it has mine.  I love you dear reader, Patrice.

On the Subject of Perfection

~ Patrice A London ~ Leave a comment

I am a heretic.  I embody the definition of a heretic.  I am a nonconformist, a freethinker.  I am a person holding an opinion at odds with what is generally accepted (on many fronts in life) and,  I believe you are perfect.

Once, while at a conference with John Crowder, he said to look at your neighbor and say something “scandalous”.  I turned to my gorgeous neighbor and without thinking, I gave her the biggest smile I could, and blurted out, “You are perfect!”  She smiled and we moved on.  On one hand, I don’t tend to take myself too seriously.  There are times though, when I blurt things out without thinking, I know it’s not just me talking, it’s a God breathed Word.  Those moments of foreshadowing are put on a shelf for later review and that “reviewing” is always amazing and transformative.

As usual, the Lord soon highlighted His Word to me in Colossians 1:21-22.  In the Mirror Translation it says in verse 21, “Your indifferent mindset alienated you from God into a lifestyle of annoyances, hardships, and labors.  Yet he has now fully reconciled and restored you to your original design. 22 He accomplished this in dying our death in a human body; he fully represented us in order to fully present us again in blameless innocence, face-to-face with God; with no sense of guilt, suspicion, regret, or accusation; all charges against us are officially canceled.”

Let’s look at these same verses in The Passion Translation, 21, “Even though you were once distant from him, living in the shadows of your evil thoughts and actions, he reconnected you back to himself.  He released his supernatural peace to you through the sacrifice of his own body as the sin-payment on your behalf so that you would dwell in his presence.  And now there is nothing between you and Father God, for he sees you as holy, flawless, and restored.”

There is a prevailing thought process (that I don’t understand) within the Body, that is in conflict with itself.  You are imperfect, struggling daily with a sin nature whether that sin is yours or some ancestors, but somehow, you are to not only run into His courts with thanksgiving and praise, but you are to also do greater works than Jesus himself did.  How does this work when we see ourselves far beneath how our Heavenly Father sees us?  Why do we make this all so difficult?

I looked up that “problem word” ‘perfect’.  It means having all the required, or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be. It means absolute, complete, faultless, flawless, etc. Sounds like you to me.  It also sounds a whole lot like Colossians 1:22 .  What part of you was left out of the equation when Jesus sacrificed his life and declared, “It is finished!”?  In Revelation 13:8, The Complete Jewish translation speaks about the Lamb who was slaughtered before the world was founded.  If Jesus came to take away the sin of the world as John the Baptist stated, and he did so before the world was even founded, in that sense, did you even come here with a sin nature to begin with or is there a greater Truth (Jesus)?  Where were you before the world was founded? Now, I am not saying that I am a Universalist who believes all are automatically saved. I just know I was taught that until I invited Jesus into my heart, I indeed had a sin nature that needed to be taken care of, and I could take care of it myself, by accepting Jesus.  All I had to do was invite him in because Jesus was far, far away from me and my sin.  I was taught that until one invited Jesus in, they had no semblance of God in them at all.

I now understand that Jesus was already in my heart, he is all, in all.  I can’t even take a breath without his input.  He was already in my heart, wooing me to wake up to the realization of all he already accomplished for me.  He was and still is awakening me to all that I am, have and can do, because of what he did.  I couldn’t “invite” someone in that I didn’t know was even there.  He had to help me with that too.  It’s all a gift that I accept.  He didn’t suddenly take up residence in my heart and life when I walked down an aisle or filled out a slip of paper or said a prayer.  He was always there. I just didn’t know it.  He did it all.

In considering what the problem could be, I can only point to “the flesh” and our free will as what trips many up.  The flesh is often seen as problematic in Christian circles when, not only is the flesh itself not bad, but just to drive the point home, Jesus came in the flesh and died in the flesh to make sure we knew our flesh is in good standing with him too.  He is so genius that he used our free will in his ultimate plan to die for us, showing us just how far he was willing to go to show us that we are included, loved, wanted and accepted.  He knew we’d use our free will to literally kill him and he walked into that willingly, and powerfully.

Our free will wasn’t a problem for Abba. He isn’t afraid of our ability to choose. It’s only a problem for us.  He wasn’t kidding when He said He’d work all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  You are amazing.  You are magnificent.  You are loved.  You are perfect.  It’s time to start to see yourself as He does, beloved.  Be free.

 

Random Cohesive (Maybe not) Thoughts

~ Patrice A London ~ Leave a comment

So much is happening. I am processing several things at once and I find it’s not always easy to write or even speak in a cohesive manner.   Typically, when I think of my thoughts as random, lacking any semblance of cohesion, they actually make sense, so, it is with this possibility in mind, that I push onward and write.

When people find out that I have 5 homeschooled children, they are often astonished and make remarks about me being super busy or some other, (weird) comment is stated.  I don’t feel any busier than anyone else honestly, and up until now, I have not had many real issues that had to do with my children.  The issue I have now, I know is temporary and it has to do with helping my son not flip out to the point of crying and not breathing until he passes out.  He’s only a year old, so reasoning with him isn’t an option.  It’s pretty much, try to distract him and if that doesn’t work, just hold him so that he doesn’t hurt himself when he passes out.  Not the most fun.  Thankfully, this, as most other things, will pass.  In the meantime, it is sometimes rough.

I am seeing an unnerving trend in the Body of Christ that sets my teeth on edge and has all my discernment receptors blaring warning signals.  In a nutshell, it is a trend of facing and focusing on problems, instead of simply asking Abba, what’s going on in those moments of confusion.  There’s a place for asking questions, wanting and getting answers, but there’s also a place for mystery.  Holy Spirit can help us know the difference.  Sometimes our prayers can even be so fear and lack based, it’s disheartening.  It implies that we are better moral agents than God, because we’d never allow certain things with our own children.  It’s so subtle, this deception…

Sometimes, I think we are so afraid of the free will God insisted on giving us, that we make up doctrine to support our religious do this, and do that. Proverbs 23:7 (As a man thinks in his heart, so is he) keeps replaying in my heart and mind.  We really do become our own self fulfilling prophecy because we are believing stupid things.

There are a few other things on my mind these days, like the deaths of people who were clearly not wanting to be here any longer.  Death is never easy. By the time I was 37 years old, I had experienced the deaths of two grandparents, my step father, my father and 3 siblings, with the closest of them passing on my birthday.  I have seen enough death up close, to last me a lifetime.  I have held the hands of loved ones as they passed. I’ve held babies who left their bodies prior to or right after being born.  I could go on but I won’t.  I have seen those who seemed to be taken before they finished what they were here to do, and while I do believe people can and do go before their time, I also believe free will can be a factor, and so can mystery.  Sometimes, things just don’t make sense (to me).  I am learning to be ok with that.

I was thinking yesterday how many die with this or that unfulfilled prophecy over their lives, but then, I started to consider why we are here to begin with.  God didn’t want workers, he has angels for that.  He wanted a family to love.  At its core, this is all about relationship.  It’s a family affair.  If the main goal is to be loved by Him and love others, I can’t think of any of my loved ones who did not fulfill that purpose, no matter when they died.  Every single person I can think of, especially those who have passed within the last year, loved so very many people.  They truly left beautiful legacies and they still live!!!  I am re-thinking so many things.  We get so caught up with the do-do’s.  We must do this for the Kingdom, we must do that for the Kingdom, when God simply wanted a family. It all reminds me of Jesus telling Martha, “One thing is needed…” (see Luke 10:38-42).

I heard a story once that I don’t fully remember and will add to.  A man invited his son to come work with him in his wood shop.  His son worked very hard, trying to replicate the quality of  his dad’s work.  He loved his father and wanted to make him proud.  Try as he might, he just couldn’t get his work to the quality that his dad so easily seemed to produce.  The son quickly became frustrated and angry.  What the son didn’t realize was that his father had him there because he simply wanted to spend time with him.  He didn’t need his son’s help, he really just wanted his company.  He was already proud of him and just wanted to be together making memories.  This is what I believe the Gospel really is, the good news that we have all, already been included.  We start out loved, wanted, accepted, celebrated, etc.  Anything we do from there, comes from a place of resting in that love, acceptance, celebration with our Heavenly Father.  That’s it.

The type of things I have been witnessing, if I were a new  prospective convert, I’d want to run the other way.  What I am seeing is not good news. I can strive without awareness of God and all He has done, I don’t need to do it with Him.  It’s unnecessary.

Rob Coscia summed up my feelings about so much of this beautifully. Why focus on the problem when you have The Answer?

I’ll end with Rob’s quote, “When you pay more attention to what could go wrong rather than to what could go right, failure becomes your unconscious goal.

When you study more of what the enemy has done instead of looking for what God is doing, fear becomes your internal theology.”

 

 

 

Brutally Honest?

~ Patrice A London ~ Leave a comment

I recently had a video chat conversation with two people where one was desperate in wanting to help the other.  She was frustrated and tired of seeing the other person so beat down and living below her potential.  In a sort of last ditch effort to help, she resorted to being brutally honest with the other person about her behavior, appearance and more.  It was harsh, to say the least.

I listened to what was said and took into account both sides, the one desperate to see change in a person she loves, and the one who was down and out. (I quickly broke the whole “brutal honesty” issue down to them both and we came to an agreement in the end.)

See, when one resorts to brutal honesty, there’s a shock value effect that one seems to be striving for in hopes that the shock will then render a positive result in the other person. All too often though, the whole plan is shot because instead of tough love, instead of honesty, what the other person hears and feels, is the brutality.

Looking at the definition and a few synonyms of the word brutal, sheds a bright light on how unhelpful this “mode of communication” can be when trying to bring about positive change.  Brutal means, savagely violent, punishingly hard or uncomfortable.  It also means direct and lacking any attempt to disguise unpleasantness.  A few synonyms include: savage, cruel, vicious, ruthless, heartless, cold-blooded, unsparing, stark, naked, etc.

Now here’s the thing, I am a pretty straightforward person, but, I take care in how I speak to and with people.  I am honest but I will not be brutally so because I want to be heard and understood.  I don’t want to beat anyone up with my words and most importantly, I don’t want to sever the connection I have with anyone.  Connection is more important than being correct.  I don’t get any bonus points for being honest when I ruin a relationship.  I want to take care with the hearts of those I claim to hold dear.

Later, the person who was on the receiving end of the brutal honesty, not so shockingly stated that she feels people have their foot on her neck, all while telling her to rise up.  She feels beat up and/or ignored by everyone close to her.  This is a person in need of some massive amounts of love, not brutal honesty.

In moments like this, I am grateful that I have been trained to not prophesy the obvious, bringing up people’s dirt.  Instead, we are to reach into each person, and pull out the gold that’s there already inside of them.  This is far more effective when the goal is to help a person rise to their greatest potential.

Interestingly, as I chimed in about my take on brutal honesty, I started by saying that I didn’t believe it was good to be brutally honest with others.  I said I would only be honest with others but not brutally so, and that I would save the brutal honesty for myself.  Just as the words left my lips, I heard my Abba say to me, “And why would you even treat yourself that way?”  I stopped as the realization hit me that brutal honesty isn’t for anyone.  Sure, be honest, but brutal? No. We really have to get this right and help build one another up instead of tearing each other and ourselves down.  It serves no one to be cruel, yet so many of us are our own worst enemy.  This must stop.  We must allow the Lord to show us who we are and believe Him.

So, if you were once one who ascribed to the idea of being brutally honest as if it was a good way to conduct yourself, please, don’t do that anymore.  Don’t do it to others, and don’t do it to yourself.  Let’s learn new and effective ways to broach the hard subjects with one another.  We have help.  He longs to show us how to be in relationship with each other in ways that make it such that everyone involved feels edified, loved and encouraged.  Everybody can win.